Friday, July 31, 2009

FRIDAY FABLE/ CHICKEN


Once upon a time… way back when TyeDye and Bliss were just getting to really know each other and exploring their universe together…




Bliss remembers when TyeDye’s mother thought Bliss was the bad influence in TyeDye’s life, but graciously allowed the two to be together. There were occasions when it was actually the other way around… TyeDye corrupted Bliss, who gladly accompanied her without much objection. Bliss takes responsibility for her actions and does not blame TyeDye for her failings! On the contrary… Bliss is tremendously grateful that they shared experiences together. Let’s call it what it was… mutual stupidity! Here is another excellent example of the idiocy of abuse and use, interrupt of morals and general WTF were we thinking!




The first time Bliss ever tried acid was initiated by TyeDye. She’d gotten it from Pud. Yes, we had a friend we truly did call Pud. As it “pulling your pud”. He did not seem to mind being called a penis at all. Marvelously inappropriate and obscene. Just the sort of immaturity that we were so attracted to in those days. But maybe he did mind and didn’t say. You know how badly teens want to be accepted… and that the things we did to each other often hurt years later when we thought back on them. So glad I don’t have to live that part of my life over!




LSD. It was a drug that was not all that well known. A relatively new drug to the world. A misdemeanor in that time frame, not yet the drug that became so hated. It was cheap and came in a variety of forms. Cheap was likely the cause behind its use and abuse. In Bliss’s world at that time you could go to the neighborhood 7-Eleven and buy it from the clerk… who kept blotter acid under the counter. Not at all 7-Elevens… mind you. This 7-Eleven was near a friend’s home. It offered LSD that has been placed by dropper onto a piece of ordinary construction paper in a grid pattern, and then cut off in little squares as it was sold.




You could buy it in barrel form… a cylindrical pill. The really good stuff had a cartoon of the Mad Hatter on its end. It had names to entice. Orange Sunshine was a favorite of Bliss. The green barrel gave them the runs and was avoided after the initial experience. There was a thing called Windowpane that looked like a bit of snot and had a very visual effect without the speed contained in barrel acids. One time Bliss was gifted by a little hobbit of a touchie-feelie-jerk with a drop of liquid LSD placed into one eye. This left her with damage to her left eye that persists to this day in the form of an iris that refuses to close down properly in the sunshine, resulting in headaches, watery eye and migraines. Yes indeed. LSD was not good for you! Not recommended at all!




Yet, curiosity and stupidity reined in those days when we still believed that we were immortal and unbreakable. Bliss is somewhat wiser in her current age. Proudly so. Now that you have the background required to understand the story… here we go!




Early on in the evening Bliss was introduced… for the very first time… to LSD in the form of barrel acid… Orange Sunshine, the best by far of the acids available, though she was unaware of it at the time. TyeDye shared on the way to 7-Eleven to buy Minute Rice to make for a potluck party. They took it on the street corner of Wishon Blvd. and Home Ave. On the opposite corner of Van Ness and Home, was a dental office with budgies in the front picture window. Here they stood and observed the birds for an extended period of time. By the time they got to the mini mart, both were on their way to altered reality. Bliss was repeating the words “Minute rice and dog food” over and over, so as not to forget what she was about to buy. Tye Dye could only laugh at her. The clerk enjoyed their obvious intoxication and played a bit of mind-fuck at the register.




Bliss cannot recall the trip home or making the rice for the potluck. Only the irony of taking Minute Rice to a place of health nuts instead of the fantastic smelling Basmati brown rice that she loves now. There is a brief recall of trying to feed the three basset hounds in the back yard. Their bodies hopping up and down as she held the food bowl above her head and laughed for no reason. The dogs bayed until her father screamed out the upstairs window to stop teasing the dogs and put the bowl down. She was not teasing them. She was laughing at them tickling her with their feet as they jumped up and down. The bassets responded with happy wags and slurping sounds that only bassets can make. If you don’t have a basset or memory of one, you are out of the loop of understanding.




She does not recall the trip to the house where the potluck was held. Only that they were suddenly there… giggling like mad things… and greeted by Pud, who wanted to know how we liked his drug. Bliss said “It’s so mellow!” But the word “Mellow” came out all weird. Like “mell-auw”. Pud would forever after torment her with this mispronunciation.

Snippets of that evening remain… Deck bragging endlessly about his mad skiing skills… leading to Bliss running away. Lying on her back in the music room listening to Steve Miller sing The Joker over and over until Big B took it upon himself to decide what music would be played. Hahaha. Fortunately he had great taste and Bliss was thrilled.




Eventually Bliss and TyeDye ended up on the front porch of the house, alone smoking something or other… hash or pot… to mellow out the intensity of the high. As they sat there a sound down the street drew their united attention. One of those WTF situations that result in awe-stuck observation of facts that is too large to fit into the brain. A car. The engine screaming its objection to the high revolution of its engine as it accelerated beyond its limits. Sparks were shooting off the part that was dragging behind. A pyrotechnic show of amazing display! Fireworks in September! When the car neared their position, it left the pavement and launched up the lawn and into the lower under section of the latticed porch of the Victorian cottage directly across the street from where they sat.




Bliss and TyeDye looked at each other. Blink. Blink. Bliss clutched her head in her hands. This was not good. Not good at all! Responsibilities would be required. Explanations demanded. Witness of crime extraordinaire! Noooooooo!




Across the street the driver bailed out of the car window and ran away, leaving a large piece of automotive evidence behind. People alerted to the tragic situation began to spill out of the house onto the lawn. Bliss continued to hold her head in her hands, repeating the words “Bad, bad, bad…” over and over. God Himself has no clue what TyeDye was thinking!




When it was established that they were indeed witnesses, one of the staff members of their school informed them that they would be expected to give a statement to the police. This was even worse than Bliss had anticipated. This was the worst possible outcome. Conversation with the police was never a good thing, but conversation with the police while tripping was suicidal. There was an argument of a sort on this subject. The teacher insisted that they could maintain and must do this…it was the right thing. The teacher had no idea that they were so high, and so is forgiven.




They did what they had to do. They ran away like the true chickens they were. They ran hard and fast to Bliss’s house, where they would once again regain the giggles that go with LSD and function so poorly that Bliss could not get her key into the key hole. The door was whipped open by her father, who told her that the door was not even locked and suggested that they go sleep off whatever they had been drinking.




The evening ended with them laying on Bliss’s brass bed, contemplating the James Taylor poster on the wall and wondering about the stars and moons that glowed and danced on the radiator… how they managed to float like that instead of lay flat on the radiator where Bliss had painted them by hand. Gradually the evening faded to dawn and nothing was left of the high but the odd patterns of acid vision imprinted on everything. Bliss and TyeDye fell into grateful sleep.




As always... drugs are not a good thing and no one here recommends that they ever be tried or abused. These are just the random memories of Bliss, who was foolish and careless and way too young to be doing such things. While TyeDye is part of this all… being Bliss’s support and constant companion, and greatly adored by Bliss… it is the memory of Bliss that is contained here. Only TyeDye can speak truly for herself. Bliss cannot tell you what was happening in the mind of that fine and wonderful friend. Only that she was loved deeply and was there. Bliss does not intentionally leave out her thoughts or feelings. She simply does not know them. That is the way it was. Way back then.


*


Chuck Berry - Maybelline

Oh my god! I sat up late last night writing this post.


I got so sleepy that I was having trouble keyboarding. So I decided to snooze for a bit. Woke up in a panic to see how late it was...


When I sat down to type and finish... I do not know what I did wrong, but wrong I did and it all went away!


All of it! Every word I patted and finessed into making sense... gone, gone, GONE!

CRAP!



Heavy sigh... yes, I will now start over. So sorry you showed up here for nothing. It will take me some time.


All I can suggest is check back.


Today is not looking so good, you know?


Until then, enjoy Mabelline and wonder what on earth that has to do with TyeDye and Bliss.


Sheesh!

Thursday, July 30, 2009

The Pogues - The Broad Majestic Shannon




The Broad Majestic Shannon

By Shane MacGowan (1988) The last time I saw you was down at the Greeks
There was whiskey on Sunday and tears on our cheeks
You sang me a song as pure as the breeze
Blowing up the road to Glenaveigh
I sat for a while at the cross at Finnoe
Where young lovers would meet when the flowers were in bloom
Heard the men coming home from the fair at Shinrone
Their hearts in Tipperary wherever they go

Take my hand, and dry your tears babe
Take my hand, forget your fears babe
There's no pain, there's no more sorrow
They're all gone, gone in the years babe

I sat for a while by the gap in the wall
Found a rusty tin can and an old hurley ball
Heard the cards being dealt, and the rosary called
And a fiddle playing Sean Dun na nGall
And the next time I see you we'll be down at the Greeks
There'll be whiskey on Sunday and tears on our cheeks
For it's stupid to laugh and it's useless to bawl
About a rusty tin can and an old hurley ball

So I walked as day was dawning
Where small birds sang and leaves were falling
Where we once watched the row boats landing
By the broad majestic Shannon


That nut case, Sinead O'Connor calls Shane a "sweet angel near the end". Well, he is sweet and he is an angel of a poet. I want to believe that he can overcome his troubles. I have the greatest respect for those who can and do.



I have a quick tale today. Do you recall the Angel Whisperer?
You can go back and read about him here on this older post:
CHEESUS LOVES ME


Today I overslept. I have been talked into getting on Facebook. I have some friends there and there was a little something I needed to make right from a bazillion years back with an old acquaintance. So there was time last night and I got down to it.
I made a dumb mistake that took me hours to correct! I fell into bed around the time I usually get up... 4:00a.m.

I drug myself up at 10:00a.m. There was no coffee! That's just wrong. So I called StbX and asked him to buy me coffee. He agreed. As we are reading our paper, in walks The Angel Whisperer. The little alarm in my head begain to squeal. I tried to get lost in my paper and be focused only there.

Sure enough he stopped at our table and smiled. God help me, I smiled back. StbX glowered. But to my amazement all the big guy did was make a normal mentally healthy comment about the weather and then lumbered on to his own booth.

We had just finished our meal and were getting up to go when The Angel Whisperer stood up and nodded his smiling head at us. I gave a little wave. (I know... I can't seem to help myself!)

He said: "Your angels are singing. Can you hear them?"

I was trying to formulate an answer when he spoke again and made it clear that this was a rhetorical question.

"They must really love you."

There is only one answer to that statement.

"Thank you." I said as he walked out the door.


I don't know about you... but after yesterday's post song by Westlife that goes:

"I believe in angels, something good in everything I see... I belive in agnels... "


I couldn't help but think that if he has to be crazy, then it's a sweet kind of crazy.


Wouldn't it be wonderful to be so close to angels that you could hear them sing?


To wear such a beautiful smile everywhere you went ?



What if he is not the one who is crazy?



What if we aren't good enough for angels to trust us to see them?


You know, I don't think I mind if angels sing to me. Sweet.



And I hope I can see something good in everything.


*

Wednesday, July 29, 2009

OK... SO I COULDN'T STAY AWAY!

The Damned : Smash It Up!


Ananda girl is on vacation in her new to her bedroom...

one of her favorite vacation activities is

dancing where no one can see her!

*

This is who is on stage today at Chez Oodles.



Es la canciĆ³n de Buzzcocks

This one comes to us via Sebastien, who suggested The Buzzcocks. He may have had another song in mind, but hey... this one's got a dance beat. ;)
And it made me laugh.



The Vandals - "Don't Stop Me Now" Kung Fu Records

A tongue in cheek ode to Freddy Mercury by some fun fellows! The beat is accelerated... see if you can keep up!







Speaking of tongue in cheek... this song makes fun of my favorite groups like Dropkick Murpys and The Pogues, but I love it anyway. Silly bad boys.




I might have written this one myself... these thoughts have been living in my brain... Thank you to Superstar for giving it to me. It helps to sing it all out loud... such a fucking process!




www.westlife.co.uk
Beautiful music. Pretty, pretty boys. I am not generally a boy band donna, but this is a wonderful song. And it's for my confessor and good friend... because I do believe... with much affection and gratitude.


Well, I've got much, much more to dance to here... these will have to tide you over. I wanted to keep my part in blogging today short and sweet.
Enjoy!


Comment or not... listen or not. It's vacation
time for all of you here at Oodles of Funch...
spend your mini vacation any way you
would like... but whatever you do
STOP and take a few minutes
out of your day for YOU.

Monday, July 27, 2009

SONGS FOR WHEN YOU ARE DEPRESSED

This is my I'm depressed and need something sad but hopeful song. Everyone should have one of those I think. I have a couple more of Neil's songs like this for you as well.

There has been a great deal of contention over the lyrics of this song and what they mean.

It has been covered by numerous artist, many of whom would not be expected to choose a song like this one. Such as Dolly Parton who asked Emmy Lou Harris what the lyrics meant. No one knew, so Dolly called Neil himself and asked he responded with :


"Hell, I don't know. I just wrote it. It just depends on what I was taking at the time. I guess every verse has something different I'd taken." hahaha... those drug people!




This one gives me perspective. Lots worse happens in the world than my petty woes.



Classic Neil Young song off of a classic Neil Young album.



This is not Neil Young. It's some drunk guy... but oddly enough, you can hear what he is singing better than any of the Neil Young videos. It's short. dmarks at Throwawayblog once said this song reminded him of Dumb Potter's Hell...my home town. I do agree with that.


There is not much on Funch today. I've got the blues. Hence the songs for when you're depressed post. But I want to tell you why... then I'm going to take a few days off and be back on Friday with my Fable. So here we go...


I like men. I like way they think. I like the way they smell. I like the way they talk. I like their humor. I like that they think about the world and converse on a variety of subjects. They are comfortable giving opinions and comfortable hearing opinions different from their own.

As friends they are hard to beat. They tend to be loyal, engaged, warm and even somewhat protective. They can sympathize without getting mushy... and are darned good listeners. I have many male friends who are not linked to me romantically. I have always been friends with men in multiples. I feel safe with them.

So I joined this free trial thing on a social network for three days. You cancel out before it's up and you don't get charged. I tired it on a fluke. So I start chatting with people and this one guy is funny and we end up talking a lot.

It does not take me long to get attached to people. I consider all the people here at Oodles of Funch to be my friends and very family-like. I care about everyone here. I appreciate their support of me. So I'm getting to a place where I am starting to think of this person as a real friend too. He reminded me so much of someone else that I trust utterly and that made it easy to think of him as being trustworthy.

That's when he had this ridiculous "emergency" involving his mother, a dog and starving in Dubai. I am laughing out loud as I type this. In my head he has become the "Dumb Guy from Dubai". I am not stupid. Nor was I so into this person that I was willing to hand over my personal information or funds. No. I reported him.



I do laugh at this. It was so transparent when it came up that it was a parody of a plan to get money. It's funny how bad it was.


But the fact remains that someone betrayed my trust. I have one huge bug-a-boo... and that is betrayal. I require loyalty. I am aware that I am way too generous with my affections but that does not hamper my ability to see reality, it just makes what is real hurt.



What I need is a vacation. Since I can't toss my crap in a carry on and head off for Italy. I'll content myself to take a vacation in my new to me bedroom. Yes it is a rather small vaction spot, but cozy. There will be movies, lots of Vonnegut to choose from, Turtuledoves to finish (sadly), music files to peruse and dancing like a fool with no one watching. I plan a few field trips to walk daily and swing on the swing set at school. I can speak Italian if I wish and I don't need sun screen. I will also use the time to do something that I love very much... write. So be assured that Friday Fables will return as scheduled and Ananda Girl will return refreshed and smiling. I will also poke my nose into your blogs here and there.

Now here's a question for you all... What thing do you suggest that I do or take with me on my bedroom vacation?

**








Sunday, July 26, 2009

ANANDA HAS GONE AROUND THAT FINAL BEND



THE JOE SATRIANI VIDEO IS AT THE BOTTOM !

Go Joe! Happy Monday folks! If this does not get you up and shaking those hips... nothing will and you may as well lay down and wait for the reaper man! In concert, the whole audience becomes a giant undulating creature. I was thrilled to find this. Good memories and a good start to a new week. Whooo oh oh oh! Hey! Hey! Hey!... Joe Satriani's crowd chant... and they do chant and gyrate! I could hardly get my post up for dancing.



Because it is Monday and you are all getting yourselves into work mode... here is Max's new place of employment. It's called Big Horse. They are a nice restaurant and a brew pub that makes their own brews. Their motto: If It Doesn't Have A Big Head Or Big Body It Can't Be A Big Horse.



It's hard to tell by this picture... but it is a sort of Push-Me-Pull-You carousel zebra with some guy's head coming out of it's rear end. I do not know why that is, only that it is so. Maybe you can see it if you click on it to enlarge it. Don't know.


Speaking of rear ends.... That waitress back there has the rear end that I would buy if I could go into the butt shop and pick one up! I might not have noticed but she kept dropping her pencil... and the guys were falling off their chairs to watch. ;)



This is the view from our table of the Columbia River. If you enlarge it, you can see that it is littered with sails of all sorts. It was a busy river day with good wind and happy people.


I love this photo not because it's of anything that anyone would want to see, but because it isn't. What it is... is colorful and a snip of life. Life is not pretty. It has trash and dumpsters. It is full of fences to stop you from taking the easy path. And everywhere you look , there's a freaking wire to trip up your view. Oh... is that too negative. I want to keep this up beat.


When Squeaky was a little guy, he used to call this the "Yucky bridge1" and cover his ears with his hands while making a terrible grimace. It makes a nasty droning sound as you cross it.



We used to cross in our town and drive up the Washington side of the river so he did not have to endure it. He was so sensitive to sounds. Still is actually.



He is not a Satriani fan. He won't dance either. He's missing out! Life has so many wonderful sounds and movements. Not to mention that it is amazing to be part of an undulating mob. And no one plays like that man! This one is simple compared to his other works. You'll find one of my ultimate Satriani loves at the bottom of the post. If you're not a hard guitar fan, you might want the volume kept low... low... low. If you are one... oh baby... crank it and move!


This showed up for gas while I was getting gas myself in Dumb Potter's Hell. I loved the colors... so retro- boho!


Nevada Slim: Singer of Traditional Western, Vintage Country Blues ...

You gotta love their name! Yee Haw!


Well folks, Ananda Gril's brain just got blown up in a fluke of fate. I won't be mentally right for days until I know how the situation will be resolved.


In the mean time... here's some Joe for your morning, noon or whatever. (I need to be sedated. Should have saved that one for today!)

Joe Satriani - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia











* Oh my God!!!

Saturday, July 25, 2009

SUNDAY SNICKERS

Welcome to Sunday Snickers... I've decided to use Sunday as a two fold project. I'm going to try and find items that I think go with my bloggers' personalities. I won't say which item is for who... you can have fun guessing! I won't be able to do everyone each week, but will cycle around.


I'd also like to make this a fun and funny day with funny videos, facts or songs. Shouldn't we laugh on Sunday? Isn't it a day of rest and not so serious stuffs? Well, I'm thinking so. I hope you enjoy it.


Official Alice In Wonderland Teaser Trailer HD 2010. New movie trailers coming everyday. --------- Win FREE prizes including gift cards just by using Google search by making a free account at http://swagbucks.com/refer/sammy93

Very cool beans. Do you recall where you saw it last week? I do...




Someone loves this song!

Hummmm... wonder who that is ?



Do we know any singing and dancing bears?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jJnD-P7Gfs4

Song: "Twisted"
Artist: Joni Mitchell
Album: Court & Spark
Year: 1974

This Joni Mitchell song is a word game four you.


This tiny turtle from Cuba has been born with two heads.


Two for two bloggers.

it seems that the turtle loves the cat though cat is not interested in the turtle at all.



Now the one below does not levitate...



http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wbibcAb




I could not resist the "John B. Sails" song down there... aka "I Wanna Go Home". I was actually trying to find a serious copy of a different version, but it does not exist in video that I could locate. Drats! But this one cracked me up pretty good... so it had to come and have the main seat at Oodles of Funch. I used to sing this one to my transistor radio that hung from a wrist loop on my stingray handle bars as I pedaled along.

Friday, July 24, 2009

SUMMER / SAT. SCAVENGER HUNT

Our word today is "SUMMER" and comes to us from laura b. from What Fresh Hell is This? - What a great choice! If you have not visited laura b., well you better go do it. She has lots of fun stuffs there.




What could be more like summer than camping. What a big tent!





Summer is the perfect time for family get-togethers. Did you know I was related to Mr. Clean?



Summer time is the best time to play!



Summer is the time to go to the beach! We found this tide pool area.


Summer is the time for fireworks!



Or how about a summer river cruise?



Summer sunsets are the best!

Summer flowers like this oriental poppy.


Summer is the perfect time for Italian Ices.




What about a summer bike ride?

Thanks for stopping by today. I miss you muggers when you don't!

Hey! Ananda is so twitterpated that she can't even think straight today. I forgot the summer music... yeah, me, the music bitch. Sheesh! So here you go music fans... enjoy, head-bang....DANCE! Summer is made for dancing.

First... my favorite of these... Ataris... Yummy
I really like that in the original the line says "I saw a Dead Head sticker on a..." But this one says "I saw a Black Flag sticker..." Cool beans. Love the blondie!


Going waaaayyyy back to summers past!



Rare clip of The Mamas And The Papas performance on Hullabaloo TV show in early 1966. Song was writen by John Sebastian from The Lovin' Spoonful. In that day, M&Ps also performed "California Dreamin' " and "Nowhere Man".
Leave a comment or rate ) How many of these old foggies can you name... know who the guy is at the end. Here is a hint... everyone loves his dad in France! hahahaha Oh, I do crack myself up. You have to be old to play this game. Sorry young 'ens!


THAHAAHAAAAAt's AAAALLLL FFFFFFolks! Have a wonderful summer day! Go do something fun and get off the computer!

FRIDAY FABLES / THE COSMOGONY OF BLISS


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Mb3iPP-tHdA


Once long, long ago… when Miss Bliss was still a tiny soul waiting for her turn on earth, she joined the long line of ripe souls waiting to receive the gifts that Himself bestowed upon them as they passed from ester into solid form. She whiled away the time amusing her active mind with the colors that swirled around her. (This was a delightful pastime she would later revisit on earth, finding it familiar and entertaining to no end.)




At last the moment came where she lowered her eyes to avoid the Face of God, bowing her head in preparation to accept her gift. Before her, The Great One rummaged in his vast denim duffle bag (that had inspired no less than the U.S. Navy to use it’s design as a staple of naval luggage). Himself muttered, pulled out a pair of breasts, shook his head and tossed them back to the bottom of the bag, muttering about a promise he’d made to Valerie Perrine not to give that model out anymore. Next he examined a lovely ass, peered down at the nervous little soul, shook his head again and threw it back as well. He wanted to save that one for Brittany Daniel.




Stretching his infinite arm as deep as the duffle bag would allow, he groped and felt until his fingers found something vaguely soft and cylindrical. He pulled it out, examined it closely, called the wind to puff the dust away and looked down at the little soul with the modestly bowed head. He thought it looked timid and somewhat gullible. He cleared his mighty throat and handed the thing to the tiny soul.


The soul of Miss Bliss looked at it in wonder. “What is it?” she asked.




“It’s a neck. What does it look like? Sheesh…” said the Almighty.




The little soul made a pouty face. “Oh. What does it do?”




“Oh for My sake… it holds your head up!” Boomed the thunder voice, making the little soul tremble. The Great Deity immediately felt compassion for it. He sighed and took the neck back into his hands and played with it, molding it into a slightly different shape. He grinned before handing it back.




“There! Go ahead… take it. You’ll find it has a certain quality that you will enjoy… eventually.” The thunder voice chuckled. The little soul of Miss Bliss smiled, even though it did not understand The Master’s good humor. Behind her, as she walked over to the “Get Ready For The Big Squeeze!” line, Thunder rolled once more as Himself said:




“Man I crack myself up.” His laughter shook the skies.




When the line ended at last and the little soul stood at the threshold flanked by two angels, she held the neck out to their waiting hands. The angels looked at each other and laughed until they snorted, waving the small soul past.



*

The little soul was born into a big family and quickly learned that she who talks the loudest and fastest gets heard. As a little bitty, her father often kissed the nape of her neck and tiny Bliss giggled and squealed. In no time at all she was loud and chatty. Her mother dressed her in pinafores and silly slips full of ruffles, but she was a tumble tomboy, ready to fight or wrestle. If her panties showed, who cared?


Third grade concert time. The dance number was her favorite. She held hands with the cutest boy and got to slide, slide, slide! At the end, Miss Bliss and the Toy Soldier said their solo lines and left Hatty Mae Hammet Hall greatly relieved that the show was over. Outside she began a game of tag with some of the boys. RR, who had been her dance partner, was hot on her heels. He reached out and caught her by the neck with one hand. He stopped short and looked at Bliss as if he had never seen her before… which caused Bliss to raise her eyebrows and wonder what was wrong with that boy. R R leaned over, kissed her just behind the ear and ran away.




“Eeewwww!” Bliss yelled after him. When RR moved away the following week, Bliss felt a great relief. There would be no more of that crazy neck kissing crap!




*



The first ever school dance, seventh grade in the gym/ auditorium of Alexander Hamilton Jr. High. Miss Bliss was dressed up for the occasion. Her first pair of low heels and a nice new dress. Her sister had spent an hour making her hair just right. For most of the evening the girls all hovered against one wall and the boys across the room on the other. Only the popular kids seemed to be dancing.




“Oh this is stupid.” Said Suz. “Let’s just go grab one and dance.” The other girls looked at each other and giggled. No one moved. Bliss scanned the faces on the other side and stopped on the face of an older RR. What was he doing here? His eyes met hers and smiled. Bliss smiled back and gave a little wave.




“Oh my gosh… is that RR?” said Suz and all the girls followed her pointing finger. RR smiled his wide, perfect smile and the girls all giggled. RR took out his comb and pulled it through his oiled hair, typical of Mexican Americans of that time. He wore a starched white shirt, Beattle boots and a pair of tight polyester pants that pulled across his crotch. Bliss blushed when she noticed that. RR crossed the room quickly and pulled Bliss onto the dance floor. They danced the last verse of I'm a Believerby the The Monkees. The next song began. Procol Harum’s "A Whiter Shade of Pale".






Bliss had never danced a slow dance with a boy before and wasn’t very clear where to put her hands, so she copied the people next to her. You could say it was sort of a staggering hug. Half way into the song, RR began to nibble and lick his way from behind her right ear down her neck. Bliss’s eyes bugged out. She looked at her friends, who now were covering their mouths, jabbing and poking and pointing. Bliss was not a whiter shade of pale. She was a brighter shade of red! When her eyes found the boys, who were making kissy faces, Bliss bolted for the girls restroom, where she set up camp until her father came to take her home.




It should be noted that Bliss’s father was never on time. Not once. Not ever. It was in fact, a guarantee that the very last car to arrive to pick up a student would be none other than Papa Bliss. Many times Bliss had refused the kind offers of other parents to allow them to give her a ride home. This time, her father held true to that axiom and for a change, Bliss was grateful to leave unobserved. When he asked how the dance had gone, she said simply “Fine”. Bliss never attended another Jr. High dance.




*



Tenth grade arrived with the first high school dance. Bliss’s friends begged and cajoled until she agreed to go. This time the girls and boys gathered in bunches. Bliss stood in the middle where it seemed safe. Several songs ended before an exchange student from Saudi Arabia asked Bliss if she would be willing to dance with him. Bliss sighed and agreed. Halfway through the song, the exchange student began to suck on Bliss’s neck. This was not the relatively more pleasant nibbling of RR. This was a mind blowing Hoover suck that was resulting in a big ugly hickey.

Music video by Elton John performing Your Song: Red Piano Show - Live in Las Vegas
with David Mallet [Video Director], Not Applicable [Video Producer]
(C) 2007 Mercury Records Limited

Bliss freaked out and headed for the girl’s restroom. If there was one rule that Papa Bliss had that he stood by ferociously… it was that there would be no hickeys on the necks of his daughters. He considered it mutilation, like pierced ears and tattoos. The mark of a slut! Aaaagggghhhh! Bliss looked at the hickey in the mirror. Crap! She was sure it would glow in the dark and give her away when her father finally showed up to take her home. In a panic, she turned to a friend for assistance. The friend knew exactly what to do. She left and returned with a smiling boy.



“Hi. I’m Calvin… I’m your boyfriend. I’ll walk you home.”

Calvin was actually her friend’s boyfriend. He would one day be bitten by her insane Manx cat in the middle of a meeting in her living room. It would bleed like there was no tomorrow. Calvin walked her home and she hurried past her parents and up the stairs to her room. It took a pound and a half of cover-up to keep the hickey safely hidden. Bliss gave up on school dances.



*


By now you are thinking what the hey? This is not the Bliss we’ve come to expect. Our Miss Bliss is not shy! But she was at this point. She did not become bold until she was 16. She did not go insane until the following year when her mother gave her permission to do so. Bliss was an obedient child.



When Bliss had indeed gone around that wide bend… she and TyeDye accompanied the Blisses to the wonderful city of Jackson, California - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia. A fun loving gold rush country town. Earlier that day they had gone in search of mind altering chemicals. Not able to locate any from usual sources, they walked sadly back toward Bliss’ home past the college.




They neared an old frat house that had been converted to rooms for let. Through an open window and young man leaned out and said the magic words.



“Youwannabuyasomeacid?” Prices were quoted and a purchase was made. Note: Do not buy drugs from strangers! Better note: DO NOT BUY DRUGS… PERIOD! It could have been a fatal error. It wasn’t obviously. But it sure could have been.



The drive to Jackson was ho-hum. They wanted to wait for a better time to “drop”. They checked into the hotel and ate together in the restaurant. When the folks were not looking they tipped their little green pills into their mouths and drank them down with soda. Then the gals took a stroll down the wooden side walks through the tourist traps and gift shops. Bliss bought a candle that looked exactly like a granny smith apple. It even smelled like one.




Hotel California - Eagles. From the album Hell Freezes Over - Live Concert




Back at the hotel, they settled into chairs on the upstairs balcony off of their room. It looked down on the main street of town and the wandering lookie- loos. As the moon in their eyes began to rise with the effect of the drug, they chatted and giggled and pointed at people below. Suddenly two men climbed into their balcony. WTF? They screamed with delight! What a magic trick! It was so not possible, yet there these guys were. Where did they come from?




It did not matter. There was a bit of flirting and an invitation to go get drunk… yeah, as if they needed more insanity. But a knock on the room door and the arrival of Papa Bliss chased the young men back from whence they came in all due haste. No young turk looking for a lay wants to meet a dad. Wise boys, though Papa Bliss probably would have laughed, excused himself and gone away wishing them all a good time.


As luck would have it Papa Bliss had an alternative plan. They would all drive to near by Mokelumne Hill, California - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia. There was a tavern there that he was sure would allow the girls to drink and dance despite their ages. Sure enough this was exactly the case. The foursome gathered around a table and bloody marys were served to all. A gentleman who happened to be of ethnic decent, asked Bliss to dance. Bliss, no longer so shy and nervous agreed, leaving poor tripping TyeDye alone with the Blisses. Poor TyeDye.





By now you get how this story goes. The blessing or curse on Bliss’s neck set into motion. Like his most recent predecessor, this one also decided to give hickeys. Bliss firmly held him at arm’s length and told him NO. He agreed. Then as soon as he was close to her neck, the sucking began anew. Now, when you are tripping as Bliss was, simple tasks seem way more difficult than they should be. She continued to repeat the threat to stop dancing as if it was a new idea. The “gentleman” was having none of that nonsense. He wanted to chew on Bliss. When Bliss did managed to push him off and get back to the table, her father was off getting more drinks.




Bliss told her mother and Tye Dye what had occurred and they all had a good laugh. It was funny. When her father returned, they repeated the story to him. He asked which guy it was. Bliss pointed him out. The sucker was perched at the bar between a couple of his buddies. The buddies, who were obviously more alert, saw the finger pointing and hustled their buddy out of the bar to the sidewalk… where he fell flat on his face in the gutter. His pals looked both ways, stepped over his prone body and crossed the street leaving the passed out lover boy behind. Everyone at the table burst out laughing. So much for Romeo, who was still in the gutter when they left.

Yes siree, Bliss and her blessed neck could really attract the doozies!




Back at the hotel, the reason that you should never buy drugs from someone you don’t know, manifested in the form of hellatious diarrhea. It was likely that the drug was cut with strychnine. The high was not very good either. More poison and less drug or so it seemed.




The Great One was right. Eventually Bliss decided that having an irresistible neck had its uses… with the right person(s) who were welcome to nibble. But it still made her giggle and squirm in a delighted sort of way. But dang… it took a long time and had a rocky road to get to that point. The moral to this story is : You have to wait for the blessings and accept the crap that comes before. Be patient. Be kind. Believe.