Okay... another tired lame post. Just enjoy this if you will. I will be in better shape tomorrow.
The frogs are croaking tonight. I have been busy. Now it's bed time. Two new frogs. I have lost a few too. No problem. I need to figure this out slowly. My ability to get a bit crazy is something that has to be understood and accepted. The P frog is hanging on despite the cancellation. A good sign or bad? I don't know. Time will tell. All I know is that I am having fun and hope that somewhere at some point the right one will show up. But if not, at least I had a good time.
Sham 69 has been around for a long time. Early punk. I hope you enjoy them. I sure do. Have a great hump day. See you tomorrow with something worth reading I hope.
Oh what a weekend! A lesson learned in the value of family... and friends... and home, even in Dumb Potter's Hell.
I left school early to hit the road... a big freezing rain storm was brewing from the south up through Portland and then on into the gorge... to glaze Dumb Potter's Hell and eventually shut down the gorge freeway. But that is getting ahead of myself.
I managed to get all the way past the turn off to Lebanon... only about half an hour normally... from the Deer Hunter's offering of sanctuary. (Not much football this weekend, but the company is so far impossible to beat.) It's the last time I'll be going there for a few weeks, until Rose Bowl weekend.
That last half hour took me an hour and a half of crawling over slick beads of ice. YIKES! I found a sane person to follow and kept pace with him. Hey... he had a "Go Duks" license plate. Oddly enough, with traffic on I-5 going 10 to 15 miles an hour as soon as I got off in Springfield the Parkway okay for much higher speeds. I guess they do a better job of keeping their roads de-iced than ODOT does.
Once I arrived, I was greatly relieved and settled in for a nice weekend. Pretty normal stuff. We worked on cleaning and organizing his shop, watching videos and some TV. He made a wonderful diner on Saturday. Sunday we were lazy. Then it was time to go home.
I never leave there empty handed. Between him and his mom, I get all sorts of stuff. This time some tools for Squeaky and the offer of Deer Hunter teaching him how to use some of the tools in his shop. I got a Duck's birdhouse... no not for ducks, but The Ducks. It's cute. And a bunch of other odd things I liked. I said I like boxes... so now I get lots of boxes. He sends food home for the boys too. That means that I don't have to cook when I get home. Isn't that nice?
Things on the road home went pretty well until I was almost half way home. Isn't that how it always goes?
I've known for awhile that there was a problem because the battery light would go on for a time then shut off again. We... as in X and I... thought it was a loose battery cable. Wrong. My cruise control shut its self down. Ut-oh. Odd. I kept driving until I noticed that my lights were fading. Not good. I pulled off into a well lit rest stop and parked the car... wiggled the cables and nothing happened. You can't drive without lights obviously.
I texted Bear. My phone was about to die. She texted back to call the Deer Hunter and have him pick me up... so I texted him. He called... my phone died with no solution and no way to contact the Bear. Crap. Okay, worse, I'd taken my blanket out of the car to wash it and forgotten it. Double crap.
Now the Bear is a smart cookie. I knew that when she tried to call me... I could hear it, but not answer it... I knew she would go back into her computer to when I met the Deer Hunter and get his information. You know, the old joke of telling me she needs to know where to look for the "glad bags" after I've been cut into pieces by the strange man I am going to meet. (Though with the Deer Hunter, I had already met him in Dumb Potter's Hell very publicly.)
She did. She called the Deer Hunter who told her that he had lost me in conversation. Both were concerned and a plan formulated for rescue. Meanwhile... I weighed my options. Someone would come for me eventually. I did managed to get my location out and a a request for a fully charged battery before things went to tripple crap.
No blanket, but like most females, I had a ton of clothing with me. Hey... you never know what may come up. But no coat... only my hoodie. I don't own a coat yet. That is a big expese and I was planning on getting one from the Goodwill on payday next weekend when I have nothing better to do. Live and learn. So I put my baggy old way too big sweat pants on over my clothes that I was wearing and covered myself in the remainder of my clothing, then went to sleep.
Sleep is a time machine. If I don't want to be somewhere... I can go to sleep until I do. Time passed totally unnoticed by me. Someone tapped on my window and there was Boo... behind him sweet cousin J! They got exuberant hugs. Yes, they had the battery and in short order we were all back on the road with the guys behind me just in case.
It was very cold by then and my toes were glad to be going home. Naturally there was mist on the windshield, so the wipers were the only things I used besides the headlights. I did not mind being cold for the remainder of the trip if it meant there was a warm place at the end. Ice in the gorge, but I am used to that. It took longer, but hey... here I am!
The first thing I did was sit down to let the Deer Hunter know that I was okay. He gets up super early, so I thought that once he and the Bear had worked things out that he would go to bed. Nope. He still worried. I can't say that makes me sad. We fired some emails back and forth... he likes my Bear. But then who wouldn't? And balled me out for making her sound so mean. He says she's a sweetheart. Yes she is! So everyone is now happy and sleeping like babies... I hope. I intend to do that now for the next 3.5 hours before I have to go to work. Good thing I slept in the car to pass the time. Tomorrow the car goes to the shop. Cool beans.
I hope your weekend was less chilling. hee hee. What did you do with yours?
If you have never heard these fellows... they are wonderful. Enjoy a bit of Manic Hispanic. I'll include the original version of this tune from The Offspring... love both. Meanwhile, please enjoy this essay by my Bear. That's my girl!
I grew up with three brothers and zero sisters. My mother and I were the only females, outnumbered by males by two. All my life being the only girl has been the only way of life. It seems I must be a glutton for punishment because even now, as an adult, I am the only female in the house. Michael is my fiancé and Turkey is our son. Jason is our roommate and Gabe is his son. Finally, we have the newest addition to the house, Curtis. I am horrifyingly outnumbered. The testosterone has never been so thick! This is how I survive being outnumbered by the male sex.
My house is certainly not the most spotless, but we have laid out rules we live by. We all work together to keep our home tidy. I may be a mother, but I am only the mother to one of the males in the home. I resent being treated otherwise. It was not always so simply put as we all work together to keep it clean. In the beginning, I kept the whole house clean. I would clean top to bottom, with the exception of the roommates bedrooms, that I will not do. Then one day I came home from a grueling day at school, I was angry to come in to see that the inside of the house had been hit by a hurricane or so it had seemed. I had had it! I screamed, I yelled, and I threw shoes! That was the final straw, I would take no more. I went up stairs to cool off. I decided to make a chore chart. I came down the stairs, chart in hand and ordered the males to sit down the kitchen. They sat down. I explained I could no longer do this all by myself, so I had fixed the situation, everyone would do their part. Since the blow out, the guys have remained vigilant in getting their chores done. I guess no one likes shoes thrown at them. At least I got through to them.
While establishing a daily chore list remains to be the first thing to come to mind when dealing with the male species, learning to cope with their personalities is a close second.With testosterone filling the air like smoke from a fire, when an argument breaks out, you must never choose sides. If at all possible, exit the room before someone says,” Don’t you agree Claire?” You should never respond to a question like this, even if you do agree. This situation only backfires in your face, no matter what the issue may be. Especially in the case of who fathers their child the best? No one ever wins and feelings are forever damaged, if you escape this fight, you will be alright.
Last but not least is never offer to do a man’s laundry! What may seem to be a onetime offer, will overtime become a duty assigned to the “woman” of the house. This situation can be easily avoided by lying to the man, tell him you are just too busy to do any favors at the moment. It may seem harsh, but it is their laundry, they should know if they are wearing their last clean pair of boxers. Even if they offer to do your next load in trade, do not accept. Be strong, you are woman!
Being the only female does have some benefits, for sure. I do enjoy hanging with the guys over primping my hair and painting my nails with the girls. However, the key to keeping your sanity is staying you.Not becoming their mother, their maid, their drycleaner. Men are devious, using all wit and charm to gain power over females and to get what they want. You must set the boundaries, guidelines, and rules to show your authority. Never allow yourself to do it all alone.
Yay! Bear! Another great essay girl. I'm proud of you. Keep it up and that nursing degree will be there in no time at all. I'll miss you when you move to Pullman to do the teaching hospital thing... but you won't find a more proud mom anywhere on earth... the moon... the stars.
Now for The Offspring that I promised folks... and an extra just becasue I really like it. Right? Yeah!
I'm hoping that Michael comes home and I am not expected at the Bear's house this weekend. 'Cause I'm not gonna be there after all. She might hurt me!
Squeaky vanished like smoke on the wind when we began our internet troubles... off to the Bears house for the comfort of being wired in. Even I am twitching. I have my work computer to use after hours, but then I have to get in a car and go there... a minor pain in the neck. Tomorrow it is supposed to be fixed and going again. We shall see. I hate to count on it and then be upset if that does not happen. Better to assume it won't and then be happily surprised if it is.
Had my studs put on my car today. Yay! Just in time to burn my way down south. Big fecking grin. Of course I will have to leave with plenty of daylight this time... and that will cut a short trip shorter. Oh well. Its what comes between arriving and leaving that matters.
My local Chevron station guy put them on for me. Charged me half of what Les Schwab wanted to put them on! And I bought the buggers at Les Schwab. Grrr. Plus I did not have to drive to another town to have them do it... or sit in a waiting room that smells like rubber and popcorn for an hour or two. I drove in, he did it and I drove away. Yay!
Okay... here is today's BIG QUESTION: What do you want Santa Claus to bring you this year?
I have two more new frogs... the other older ones are not croaking as much. But then I keep leaving too. Oops. I better watch it. Don't want to thin the pond too much, but new croakers are nice. Don't want it to get too full either. Hummm...
Now I'm going home to have visions of sugar plums dance in my head... or maybe something a wee bit more fun. (Wink.)
So you drank with the lost souls for too many years...
Monday, December 7, 2009
Ut-oh and angry Beaver! hee hee Go Ducks!
Home again. My trip to Duck land was outstanding. Had a wonderful time. All revved up for the Rose Bowl on New Years... hurry up and wait.
Nice day today too. School was great. Kids were extra funny. I think they are getting excited about the coming break. Me too.
Irony: My wedding anniversary is/was Dec.7th. (It is still Dec. 7th as I write.) So today when I get home and open my mail box... there is my official copy of my divorce ruling. Yay! But isn't that a hoot? It begins and ends on this day.
Frog pond is greatly reduced. Down to three. I think that's plenty.
On my personal battle front... four more pounds down. Big grins.
The next few posts will be like this one... short and sweet. We've got some computer issues at home that will take a couple of days. I'm doing this one from the Bear's house. Tomorrow's from my work computer after hours.
So there you have it. I hope you all have a lovely day and that your world looks as bright as mine. By the way... it's pretty much a done deal. I'll be moving to a real city in June. Woot!
Friday, December 4, 2009
This is a story that I have published in the past version. I like to tell it for two reasons. Because it tells a story about the goodness that can be found in others and because it gave me hope at a time when I truly need to belive that things would work out. It humbles me greatly.
One of the things that I learned while X (formerly known as StbX) was off at "happy camp" was how to get creative about making my money stretch and dealing with life. I learned how to cope by trial and many errors. Our first Christmas "alone" was so hard... my family was used to being spoile... and the absolute joy I got out of spoiling them was my own selfish gift to myself. I was not that great a sport about not being able todo so anymore. I felt pretty sorry for myself in fact.
This was my first Christmas as a single mom of four children. I thought I had it covered. I had a good sized bonus check waiting for me from X's union. It was our habit to take his "vacation" check at this to buy Christmas without guilt or concern. I eagerly awaited the mail on the 2nd of December when the checks arrived like clockwork. I KNEW it was coming, so I had gone ahead and put Christmas on lay-away and getting a start on hoilday banking out of my paycheck. My mood was almost high... for one month my children would have back the unworried life that had been stolen from them. Life was not going to suck for change.
The envelope arrived and I tossed it into my purse, borrowed gas money from my dad and hit the road to the town on the left. When I was in the drive-thru line, I pulled it from my purse and opened it. I re-read the letter inside several times before I could wrap my brain around the message. The state had taken the money to apply toward X's upkeep, fines and legal fees. Merry fecking Chirstmas!
I cried all the way home and showed the letter to my dad. He was sympathetic and told me not to worry about the gas money... he would see what he could to help, but it would not be much. He was, after all, still paying off my mother's cancer bills, which was why he was living in an RV in my driveway, rent and utilities free... whit the adition of the use of my finished garage with its toaty woodstove for additional living space. Over the years they had done plenty for me. That was my way of paying him back. Medical bills had near eaten him down to a nub before he agreed. Neither of us was in good shape financially. My husband I had taken on the cost of supporting the Medusa and her children for several years. A family ofnine is expensive, but we lived in foolish comfort. All children were treated as equals. If I spoiled one, I spoiled each and all.
I no longer had them of course. They fled off to more lucrative pastures. I am one of those people who pace until I find asolution to whatever worries me. The power bill was due and it was a doozie. But my sisters in California would send checks for teh holidays, so I was sure at least we would not be living in the cark and cold. It was a start. I signed up for the "Giving Tree", which was a bit of humiliation to be frank. I was not used to charity.
Then I decided to amend my food stamps... another little upsetting event for the same reason... becuase budget cuts had taken have ofmy hours at work. I rationalized that I had been paying for others all my life... having been a person who had worked since age 11 to that present. I had at least contributed more than a bit. But it still did not feel good or right. As I stood in line, I saw a flyer for a Christmas box that included "toys" for kids. So I ate another piece of humble pieand signed up for that. Whit arrived I was both bleased and disappointed. A wonderful holiday meal with all the trimmings was there. The toys turned out to be toiletries and a coule of Dollar store items. I had to remind myself to be thankful and began pacing again. I had no clue how I was going to be able to provide anything my kids would really want.
Curious things began to happen. The last day of school with all the parties and children kakking about their expectations sent me into a good funk with a pasted on smile and cheerful exclamations. Just before I left, K... my good friend and the librarian who trained me... handed me a bag of things... telling me that I could not look init or touch it until Christmas Eve. I thanked her and headed fast toward the door before I lost my ability to walk away without bursting into tears. It contained a wonderful gift for each of us an some fun treats for Christmas Eve and Day.
As I passed the office I was stopped by the principal who handed me a fat card. I thanked him quickly and retreated with myhead down, counting tmy steps to keep my mind anywhere else. Later in the evening, I opened the card so that the Bear could hang it on the card tree. Inside the envelope wre four others. The first was a card from my boss and his personal check for $150 and the instruction that I was to spend $25 of that on myself. The next envelope contained ta pile of checks from my co-workers... another card filled with kind words and well wishes. The third card held the message that my family had been adopted by the school bus drivers with gift cards to WalMart, Safeway and Payless Shoes. The final card was only a card with instructions that I was invited to a party at the expensive resort hotel caross the river and an assurance that all expenses were covered for the evening... and all I had to do was help assist another IA with special needs kids for the duration. A bargain!
Things had indeed become much brighter, I was blown away and my spirits lifted with gratitude, despite my mortification of being in such a position that people felt we would need these things. Much of what was given went to bills that had snowballed on me in an avalanche... 2/3 less income but not 2/3 fewer bills. I faithfully followed anything that had been earmarked for a purpose... with one exception... my $25 from my boss to spend on myself... I twisted that into being my choice of wanting to spend that money on Max's desperately needed glasses. He'd sat on them and they had been awaiting payment for the repairs.
As I was picking them up, it had begun to snow. Worried that I had no chains and did not have the knowledge of how to put them on if I did, I opted to leave and come home... putting off buying the Christmas tree. That snow lasted several days and closed down the gorge in either direction. My shopping had not been completed and would not be done in time. Sadly, I told the older children that presents would be put on hold. I worried about Squeaky who was sick and still had faith in Santa Claus. Santa would be late. That was that. A new dread of Christmas morning set back in.
So I paced. Then I made my way through the snow to our shop and found a saw... I told Boo to go and find a tree. We had a whole fecking forest at our door! Surely there was a tree not too far. He came back after an hour empty handed, wet, cold and upset. The snow was too deep, the air too cold. Hecould not get to the forest and unless it was okay to cut down a neighbor's tree, we were out of luck.
Leave it to the Bear. She would not go without some sort of Christmas tree. She paced, then made up her mind... towing Boo behind her. OUtside they went to our back yard, where years before Boo had planted a fir he'd brought home from shcool where they had raised them from seeds. They cut a big fat branch and drug it back into the house to thaw. No, the tree remains to this day, still stands healthy and happy.
Bear nailed that branch to the wall in the living room... a flat tree of sorts that my children spend several hours decorating with lights and homemade ornaments years past and new. It had been our tradition to give each child an ornament each year... so that by the time they moved out, they would be taking a started set to contnue in their new homes. That branch is to this day, my favorite Christmas tree in all the ones we have had over the years. None has been so filled with l,ove or hope. None more beautiful than that one tree full of my children's love for each other and me.
That night we strung popcorn and sang carols. Then came a knock on the door, some giggles and the sound of someone running away. Outside the door we found a wicker laundry basket filled with presents. I recognized those gigglesand knew that they had come from the beautiful D and her family. All were signed "With love from Santa!" Squeaky would get to believe one year longer. Yay!
Boo had gone out for Christmas Eve and the two younger boys were in bed... a tradition as well. The kids go to bed very early, leaving Santa and the elf to wrap presents and have a bit of Christmas cheer. This year, the Bear was my elf. We had little to wrap and finished quickly. We used that time to chat happily withhout boys. Outside carolers were singing. We opened the door and there stood our church members... bearing more gifts! The next morning when these were opened, I would find a check for next month's housepayment that had been a worry.
I know I grumble a lot about Dumb Potter's Hell and it is true that I crave to be away from here. But this holiday and every holdiday of my life, I will carry the memomry that the spirit of Christmas lives in Dumb Potter's Hell in a way that no large town can offer. At Christmas, you cannot beat this place or doubt the value of the great hearts of these people. I cannot explain my desperation to escape, only admit it is true. I will spend my holiday here, this one last year... beacuse Dub Potter's Hell came through for my family in a way that no other place on earth will ever do again. Sure it is so... just as sure it is that I am etenally grateful to these wonderful peple for what they did for my family that very first year we were alone.
Whatever you do this holiday, be thankful. Today, may you find the spirit of Christmas and enjoy it in full...all the way to next year. Share with us if you will... what puts you in the spirit of the season... or not. As for me, it's the people here this time of year and the way they stop to visit in the store or to share a bit of their great hearts and always... their stories... and for the amazing part they played in mine.
Okay... this is the Ducks vs USC game... I could have used the video where Arizona State throws bottles at the Ducks and fans and boos them... but I like the duck fans running into the field and everyone is happy here. Well, except for USC.
Guess who is going to the Rose Bowl? Oh yeah... The Ducks!
Ducks 37... Beavers 33. This was a real game... started out looking great for the Beavers... but the Ducks came up and took it back. Close til the end... a nail biter!
Toe hardly bothered me at all after they took most of the nail. No pain pills! That was good because I spent the afternoon of my day on the road to Springfield with a bazillion insane Beaver and Duck fans. There were cars sporting feathers, green and yellow painted people, orange and black painted people, signs, flags, graffitti, and COPS everywhere.
You wont know where this is... but I take 205 to the I-5 exchange. Here 205 ceaces to be... if you go to the right, it's I-5 to Portland... North. Go to the left, you are I-5 South toward Salem. Autzen Stadium is in Eugene... across the freeway from Springfield where I am. A 5 minute drive. ANYWAY... it took me 20 minutes to get from 205 to I-5. Normally it takes maybe 2 minutes. But traffic was like that in only two places for brief, endurable periods of time.
I did not get lost or run out of gas. People were in good moods and I never saw a flat or an accident. As drives go, it was not bad. Nice that I could drive it in daylight for a change.
Today its cold and foggy here. I love fog. I know, you are not supposed to... but I grew up in San Jouquin Valley's pea soup fog and miss it. I don't miss all that fatal accidents in the fog.
So silly as it sounds, the fog has me in good spirits. I'm thinking of braving it and going to the store. Not that there isn't everything here I could think about wanting... well stocked house. But Deerhunter is at work. I have my run of the place.
I feel like walking around, but don't know the area well enough to know where a good place to walk is. I'll have to have him show me where to do that tomorrow. Feels funny to be alone in it. Maybe I can find a Starbucks and people watch for a bit.
So that's how it goes in Anandaville. I hope you have a wonderful Friday and weekend. I know I will. Big grins all!
