Once upon a time when they were too foolish to understand that they personally could truly die or suffer in any serious way…
Miss Bliss and TyeDye were bored. The parental Blisses were out of town for the night, leaving Bliss’s wicked older sister, Medusa in charge. The ladies wanted to get high, but calls for pot went unanswered. At last, Fred offered a different diversion. He had mescaline. The gals talked it over, they had the money and Fred was not far. They could hop on their bikes and pedal over to pick it up quickly. Done and done.
This was a first for Miss Bliss and probably for TyeDye too. (Memory on that point is somewhat foggy.) Having been terribly impressed with the movie… they decided that it would be fun to take the mescaline in a cup of wine like the communion scene in Easy Rider. Once purchased and the return trip made, they went immediately to the kitchen and poured the wine. Bliss carefully emptied the capsules into the small glasses.
The ladies grinned at each other and clinked a toast, then downed the wine in a few gulps.
This is where things began to go amok. It’s funny how the sane mind works to protect the delicate systems in the brain. Miss Bliss heard what she believed was a line of events that began and ran this way…
1)The front door opened and slammed shut, setting the bells on the door curtain ringing.
2) Heavy foot steps pounded across the living room floor…
3) Something…(the small antique rocker) was knocked over on it’s side with a soft
thump.
4) The heavy foot steps stomped on up the stairs.
These four things happened in the space of time it took for Miss Bliss to finish her laced wine and lower the goblet from her lips. She set the goblet on the counter and looked at TyeDye.
“Must be Beezer” she said, meaning her older brother.
She called his name out loud. When Beezer failed to answer, she walked slowly to the landing at the bottom of the stairs and up the three steps. The elevated position gave her a clear view of the living room. The bells were still swinging slightly. The rocker was on its side. But something was itching at the back of her head.
Behind her TyeDye is shaking her head back and forth. Meaning: Not Beezer. Miss Bliss eyed the bells and the rocker for positive conformation. Then she glanced up the stairs and called her brother’s name one last time. Defeated, she had to accept what her brain had tried so hard to push away. Here is the proper order of events… and please note that this occurred prior to the mescaline’s ability to take affect. This was the desperate act of a sane brain.
1) Heavy footsteps pounded down the stairs.
2) Something jumped from the landing to the living room floor… knocking over the small antique rocker.
3) Heavy footsteps continued to the front door.
4) The front door was thrown wide, setting off the tiny curtain bells.
5) The heavy footsteps passed through the door and it was slammed shut, giving more zing to the bells’ ring.
A very large problem had manifested. Someone had been inside the house. Well crap.
Together they searched the house. Nothing seemed to be missing. That was good. But what did that person want? Was it some neighbor kid just poking around? A thief? A rapist? Well, none of those thoughts were okay.
The front door opened and in walked Medusa. She was in a good mood. Being in charge made the Medusa happy. It created an atmosphere that allowed a plethora of abuses to heap on Miss Bliss’s head. It gave Medusa power. She grinned wide as the two trippers told their story. Her chin jutted forward and her eyes glowed with glee. They had gifted her with a legitimate reason to call the police and report a real crime. It was of course her job as the responsible person. Little did she know that her glee was about to increase.
“You can’t call the police…” Bliss begged. She cajoled. She whined.
“God what are you high?” sneered the Medusa. Then her eyes went wide and she laughed her deepest laugh, turned on her heel and marched to the breakfast room to use the phone.
Bliss and TyeDye clucked like nervous hens. TyeDye’s hands fluttered as she spoke. Bliss twisted her hair. This was not good, no, no, no. Not good at all. But… there was a sliver lining.
“We’ll be okay. Fred said it takes an hour or two before it hits.” TyeDye wisely reminded the panicked Bliss.
The Medusa, who was sure that they had been talking about being high on pot, came back to the room and sat down in the big leather chair. The dad chair. Judgments and punishments were handed down from this throne. She crossed her legs, wiggled the top one and smiled her most evil smile at Bliss.
“They’re sending a patrolman over.” She purred.
Bliss and TyeDye sat down on the little loveseat to wait. The sun began its lazy trip down the back of the sky. The old mantle clock ticked loudly. The sun dropped lower and lower until it was twilight. When Miss Bliss saw that the shadows were jumping time, she abandoned hope that the cop would arrive before the mescaline took. Too late, the mescaline high was crawling up her spine.
Both TyeDye and Bliss jumped when the policeman knocked on the door. Medusa hurried down from the stairwell and hissed at them to let her do the talking. Bliss had a momentary hope that Medusa would step outside and speak to the man on the porch. No such luck. Medusa opened the door and beckoned the policeman inside.
Bliss nodded at the man as she was introduced. A handsome white male smiled back. When she looked down at her hands, folded neatly in her lap, she saw that her fingers were now velvet. It was cool for a moment, then worrisome. Velvet hands would not seem normal to the policeman. She slid them under her legs out of view.
The god of fools cast down a bit of luck. The policeman appealed to Medusa and she was working her hardest to sound important and knowledgeable enough to impress him. She told the story and answered all the questions. Bliss could not believe that this was her sister. Never had the Medusa passed up a situation that might get Bliss deep into trouble with their parents. This was a sibling that kept an actual notebook of dirt on Bliss and Beezer for the purpose of blackmail. Medusa was ruthless. That was fact.
It may have been the drug talking, but at that moment the Medusa seemed almost human and she glowed slightly with the golden light of benevolence. Bliss tried not to look at it directly. Medusa was smiling at the now Mexican American policeman. How did he manage that? Bliss glanced away.
TyeDye was sitting on the floor in front of the loveseat, moving her hand in a circle on top of the coffee table. It took Bliss several minutes to figure out if she was really doing this. She leaned over and whispered to TyeDye.
“It’s a water mark.” TyeDye mouthed back.
Oh. That explained it. As you may recall, my mother is a clean freak extreme, totally obsessed with her home and everything being perfect at all times. If TyeDye left a ring on mother’s table… well, it was unthinkable. My mother was a lovely person in all other ways, but in this she was irrational. I don’t have the words to show how fanatical she was. But think of TyeDye frantically trying to rub that ring out. Her focus was intense. Her movements quick and sure. Desperation beetled her brows.
It looked ridiculously suspicious. Bliss was certain they were about to be caught and broke out in a thin sweat. She glanced up at the policeman who had yet again shifted ethnicity and become Asian.
TyeDye continued to mutter to herself and rub. Things were taking on auras and Bliss was starting to trip hard as sound began to bend. The policeman walked like a tin wind-up doll toward the door. He was now a very large African American. Bliss accepted this and exhaled in relief, then marveled that she had been holding her breath and began to wonder when she had started to hold her breath. Was she out of breath? The policeman had left her mind.
By the front door Medusa’s voice faded and grew in an airplane drone. Bliss was thinking how odd it was that a voice could do these things when the policeman suddenly whipped out his flash light and shown it on the wall directly above her head. Both Bliss and TyeDye jumped. There may have been squeaks too. Bliss found her heart pounding its way up her throat.
“Who collects bottles?” the policeman asked. He was no longer an African American policeman, but a Native American.
Bliss looked at TyeDye. Her eyes were the size of the moon. TyeDye looked away quickly to avoid laughing and returned to her task of rubbing out that darned water ring.
Bliss put all her effort into getting her lungs to work correctly again. For a moment she feared that she was having an asthma attack which would require a trip to the hospital, but the moment of fear passed when she decided that her skin was breathing for her and it was okay. When she looked up again, the policeman was outside with her sister.
“I can’t get it out.” TyeDye said sadly.
“Fuck the ring. Let’s go upstairs.” Bliss replied.
The interesting thing about this story is that Miss Bliss was not alone in seeing the cop change his ethnicity. TyeDye saw it too. Cue the Twilight Zone music…
I hope you enjoyed our Friday Fable. Have a safe and happy weekend.... See ya around.
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