Squeaky came for a visit today, with Bear and Turkey of course.
It seems like a lot of time has passed since I saw him last. ( I tell this stuff here to DH and he says "yeah, but its been a loooong two weeks." Yep, it has.
Squeaky looked somehow taller, older and the divide between us is wider. I was afraid to hug him hello, then changed my mind. But when that embrace ended, the boy was gone and a man smiled back at me.
Bear got down to business. We worked out a price for them to keep him. I agreed. He needs things and food. He's still my responsibility. But only for a bit longer. Just until his college financial aid kicks in.
A few months at best. Then the man is totally on his own.
I visited and watched as he packed up the last of his stuff. Computer stuff mostly. All the while this song above ran through my head. We do not have that kind of situation at all. Not what's in the song. But it reminded me that this changeling is the one who decides what kind of man he will be. I've done my part. The rest is up to him... to be the man he wants to be for himself.
A subtle change when he left. This time he did not fight me or tell me "No touching!" the way he used to when I would sneak up to hug him. This is not my cuddly child. The quick and suffered hugs of the past turned into a good long and willing hug followed by the words "Mom, I love you." and I didn't even have to tell him I loved him first.
It was five minutes after he left before I snuck off to my room to have a little cry.
Then I thought about what Turkey said...
"Grandma, mom has underwear. I want to go home." and I laughed good and hard.
You gotta love what goes through a two and a half year old's mind.
