Sunday, May 29, 2011



So we had four days to recover and get into the stuff of everyday life again.

Then little N came.

Back when she first began to call me grandma,
her mom told me that it was okay with her.
There is always a but.
But I had to be a "real" grandma.

She gave me her version of what being a "real" grandma was.
A real grandma bakes with the kids and does crafts.
She did not want them to come over and just hang out.

Okay...that got me to thinking...

I had two grandmas that I can recall in my life.
Gertrude, who was a working business woman who was "dutiful"
in that she did presents on Christmas and birthdays and would show up if we were in school functions to watch. Always, no fail.
However, you could see her checking her watch and she left like her tail was on fire when her obligation had been met.
Not a fairy grandma.

G.G., about whom I have written before, was in my head the "real" deal.
Did she bake?
Yep, but my job was to watch, then lick the spoon and bowl
and later reap the goodies at snack time.
Did she do crafts?

In fact, GG did not have toys.
She had a double set of dominos that I used like legos.
Other than that, all there was to play with at GG's
was a painted cast iron cat that sat next to the fireplace that was never lit.
I enjoyed many hours pretending that was a real cat.
I took my own drawing supplies.
That was it for entertainment.

Yet, I absolutely loved to go to GG's every summer.
She was old, old.
A throw back to an antique era.
She had a "boy"
(who was about 60)
who did all her yard work and handyman stuffs.
(No, he was not black.)

GG had a flower garden that was amazing.
It had crushed oyster walkways and all the flowers were the kind you cut to fill your home with lovely scents.
There was a sitting area in the middle where her garden club ladies came to visit, eat cookies and drink tea.

GG tended the garden herself.

This required suiting up.
GG donned a garden shift... a formless sack thing
that she covered with an apron.
She wore long garden gloves up to her elbows.
Clunky rubber boots covered what little was exposed of her twiggy legs.
She topped it all with a giant straw hat that tied under her chin.
Ladies, she warned me, do not allow their skin to become tan.
Ladies did not want to look like farm hands.
Apparently they did not need sun screen.
Ladies in those days were pretty smart!

GG's house was always quiet.
There were morning prayers, grace at every meal and evening vespers.
Church twice a week
and of course charity work.
The house itself had the reverence of church or a library.
She had garden teas and gin rummy club.
An abundance of likewise old, old ladies.

What GG did do for me was open up her library.
She did not merely allow me to read her books.
She had read them all and entered into discussions.
She loved science and God.
Those were the topics on any day.

What GG did as a grandma that made her "real" to me
was not about "fun" things to do.
It was that she listened and heard my ideas and answers.
She asked questions and made suggestions
rather than correction to how I thought.
She encouraged me to think and see the wonders around me.

I have no problem doing the cooking and craft thing if that is what the kids want.
I do draw the line at glitter.
No glitter! It gets everywhere.

But it is my suspicion that crafts and baking are not what make you
a "real" grandma.

Children want two things.
To know that they are loved and to have someone's attention.
That's easy as pie...
Talking and listening.
Sharing of ideas and having someone respect and care about what you think.
Someone who laughs at your dumb kid jokes
or soothes hurt feelings.
And hugs. Lots of hugs.

Little N came to stay with us for 24 hours.
I was exhausted by the time she left.
There was no baking or crafts.
There was ice cream and cake.
She does love to draw and I made those supplies available.
There were bubbles to blow.
We put drawings on the fridge.
Mostly we talked and laughed at silly kid jokes.
In short, I paid real attention to her.

I hope that was real enough.

Thursday, May 26, 2011

Yikes! We did it!

Holy moley!
Weddings are huge beasts.

For over a month we weeded, trimmed trees... which led to cutting logs out of the big branches and doing something with the bark chips afterward... taming, trimming and giving the vinca a new do, not to mention my endless battle with the berry vines.

I have come to the belief that yard work is like cleaning a spot on the wall... you get one area looking great and the rest looks like crap!
Before you know it, one thing leads to another and then its time to start over. Sheesh!

Fortunately for us, there were many who helped out with the yard.
Likewise with the wedding!
On Thurs. Bear's bunch showed up and took up residence in the pop-up trailer. That is one hard working girl!
The next day Boo, Saucy and Squeaky showed up to help, along with Big E, a friend of ours' son. We looked like
ants swarming over the yard and house. :-D

By Saturday... "Judgment Day" and our wedding day... the joke was that Randy had waited until the last day on earth to get married.

Big grins!

We scurried around. Bear finished the 6 layer, 3 tier wedding cake about an hour before the wedding. Phew!

Then T asked Randy about my bouquet.
Bouque? What bouquet?

In the flood of all the other things we needed to do,
we had forgotten the bouquet!
So T and Rev. Jimmy ran out... and I did not know this part...
and made me a beautiful bouquet with white hydrangea and mums and some lovely purple lily-like flowers and some fun green things.
They wrapped it all in voile with trailers that hung down and it was a huge surprise to me.

I was very touched!

We all battled for shower ti
Someone left the door open to my room... and my clothes were on the bed
within view of the folk standing in the hall.
I was stuck with
only a towel.
I decided to become a blur and slam the door shut.
Later someone asked me about that,
and we had a good laugh over it.

We waited for some missing guests for what se
emed forever, then finally they arrived and it was time to get the show on.
Boo and I began to walk...
but I'd forgotten my bouquet.
I ran back to get it and then before I kn
ew it, I was standing there with Randy in front of Rev. Jimmy.
He said something very nice about marriage,
but I didn't hear much of it.
I went into zombie shock mode.
I don't do well in front of crowds.
I have serious stage fright issues.

Okay... you must sympathize with
me now.
I demand it!
Randy began saying his vows and w
as slipping my rings on my finger.
I began to cry.
I am a dedicated cry baby.

He put my rings on backwards...
but who cares?

My tears choked him up a bit, but he did a much better job than I at getting his lines out.

Then it was time for me to slip his ring on...
and my much, much beloved C4C dropped it!
That was a very welcome bit of co
mic relief!

Over Randy's shoulder I could see T wiping a tear off his face...
which made me cry more.

I barely managed to croak out m
y vows and slip the ring on his finger.

Then Rev. Jimmy wiped a tear from my cheek...
I was so touched by that!

And he pronoun
ced us married.
I was never so glad to kiss someone in my life!

Time to celebrate and barbecue!


We survived!


Of course now I have to change all my ID again.

Am I happy?

What do you think?


(Yep, the bride wore br

Tomorrow I'll post some of the pics of other people.

Special thanks to all those who helped us to get ready for the wedding:
Bear, Mikey P, Turkey, Boo, Saucy, Squeaky, Max, Mom, Ron, Joshua,
Big E and and always... my dear, dear C4C!
Thanks too to Rev. Jimmy... who was amazing
and T, who did everything from dishes to grilling.
These are my treasures!

So what about Roxy?

She had a ball playing with the guests...
she LOVES people.
And she didn't mind at all when people dropped
barbecue tid bits on the ground.
Roxy was in dog heaven.
So many to worship her and give her pats!

Today, my wish for you is that you are all as happy as I am now.

Be thankful for those you love...
and for those who love you.
Big grins everyone!