I have become sort of a Rachel Ray addict. I'm a serious "foodie" among other things... she makes me laugh and those great recipes! "Delish!" If you have never seen her show, check it out. Highly entertaining.
Last week... maybe Thursday... she had a doctor on who had written a couple of books on how to have a happy relationship... one for men and one for women. However, the focus that day was on women who opt for the "traditional" relationship in these modern days. Think June and Ward Cleaver.
Ward comes home from a long day at work and June is there dressed to the nines in her pearls to greet him with a kiss, hand him a drink and keep the kids at bay while Ward unwinds. She is the home-maker who takes care of all womanly tasks... the house, the kids, the laundry, PTA, (a willing sex life any time, anywhere... ssshhh, this is the 60s!) etc. Ward's job is to bring home the bacon, do the finances, take out the trash and keep the car and yard in good order.
The good doctor was fun and funny... imagine that!
They provided us with two couples who foster that traditional relationship with their personal testimonials. They seemed like very happy people.
I was struck by a couple of thoughts. First, that is the household that I grew up in with a tiny twist. My mom also worked with my dad part time. Otherwise, that was pretty much how our family functioned... until my mom went through menopause and went a bit, well, crazy. Then she became something of a women's libber.
Which leads to my second thought on this issue. My now dead as a door nail ex-marriage was influenced by my mother's temporary menopausal insanity. I was a well formed free spirit and demanding individual. I went into marriage with a total split it all down the middle attitude. You pull your weight dude!
Must have been a shock for a guy reared by a lunatic woman who not only doted on her husband but also on her children. She used to make him a Sunday diner style lunch and deliver it hot to him at work when we were newly married because my bologna or peanut butter and jam sandwiches were not good enough. Sheesh! She was something else.
My third thought was to have a good hard laugh at myself. As I listened to these couples talking about their traditional relationship style choice, there it was, the truth about my current relationship, ringing like a bell. I have turned into June Cleaver! Except that sex is often talked about and it honestly is any time any where. Oooh baby!
So here is the question... are you traditional or modern and why? What modifications have you made or mixes of the two? We all function differently and even evolve over the years, or in my case, devolve.
On the issue of love, Randy does not like the words "I love you" that much. He says "Actions are better. Show me. I'll show you."
I think that is what the traditional relationship style is all about... when you show someone how much you care, they feel good about themselves and you. I did not get that a bazillion years ago when I married. Not that I was a harpie or anything like that. I was a good wife, but I didn't always take the time to show it on a daily basis. For me, that's a lesson learned. It may well be different for you in a way that works as good.
As for myself. I like being June Cleaver. I never saw that coming.
ii
