When I first saw my dad yesterday I was struck by how frail he looked. Then I thought about it and realized that he has looked that way for awhile. I think the thing I liked most about seeing him aside from the obvious that I could see he was not in immediate peril… was that he retained his sense of humor. We laughed at how his hair was sticking straight up on top… you know that horrible chicken head look that people do to their babies… yeah like that.
Here’s the deal. He was given a medication that his body had a horrible reaction to… shutting down his kidneys and messing with his pancreas, so that food was not ingestible and he did not feel able to drink. He became dehydrated and confused, then frightened. I think it’s the latter that is the scariest to me. Nothing frightens my father. That felt so wrong.
The Medusa was there with her consort. He is a bit bizarre. Both are. Today she talked openly about her bipolar issues. Like we were there for that? Hello… not about you!
Poor Cinderella called. This is my sister that is wonderful, beautiful and smart. The day she left home was the day I began to mentally pack my own bags. My sense of home is anchored to Cinderella. We share a common phobia; The telephone. I did not have a phone for many years because I could not bear to answer it and hear bad news or worse, the Medusa on the other end.
Cinderella has the same phobia. Her husband screens all calls to her. So it was with a great sense of shame that I said hello to her and passed the phone to the Medusa… who kept her on line for at least 20 minutes of what I know was torture for her. But it bought me time to talk to my father by myself. I hope she forgives me, but know that she will.
My fondest memory of Cinderella was of us together in Great Grandma’s extraordinary garden. When we sat quietly on the bench, monarch butterflies would come and land on Cinderella, pumping their beautiful wings, but staying so I could watch them. We were dark and had deep dark eyes and brown skin. Cinderella burned in the sun, had lovely green eyes and blond hair. Obviously she was a fairy changeling. When she sang, she sounded like Julie Andrews. Disney could not have made me a better sister.
Whenever we get together, we laugh until we snort and cry. It’s such a tremendous release of tension and so fun. She will be here next month for dad’s birthday.
I told my dad that I was divorcing yesterday. That made him happy. For once he was not insulting about my life choices. That was a nice change, but not as much like him as I’d feel good about… a good rant would have said he was himself. We will see how it goes today.
I’m about to leave. I’ll go up the
Tomorrow I’ll bring Miss Bliss back if things go okay. If she is missing, you’ll know that there has been a turn for the worse.
Thank you all so much for your prayers and good vibes and thoughts. You’re the best. I just got a text from my doc that said that all the tests yesterday came out negative. Good news. But they have more to do… so keep that good positive thing flowing! It is much appreciated.
I think I’ll listen to something pretty while I drive. This:
Be glad you're not with me... I'll be singing along. ;)
