Thursday, February 3, 2011


I know... its a terrible photo of a photo that was victimized by one of her brothers. I think it might have been from 8th grade step-up.
Hard to tell at this point.

I have a good friend who is going through divorce.
She is brighter than I was.
She is doing it in a timely manor, unlike me who took ten years of separation before I got my actual divorce.
By the time I got around to it, I was just desperate to get on with my life... all the inner processes of ending a long term relationship had pretty much run its course.

However, I do recall those unpleasant processes well.
I was fortunate that my kids stepped up to the plate and took over some of my needs. Simple touch for one. The hugs, pecks on the cheek, a light touch of a hand on your shoulder. The kind of affection that everyone needs and has nothing to do with sex.
Companionship, conversation.
All requirements of mentally healthy people.

I think a great deal about my friend right now and how difficult the process can be. I tried to think back on what helped me.
Beyond a shadow of a doubt, it was my kids.
Both the Bear and Max became very huggie.
Squeaky on the other hand would see me coming toward him with the intention of getting a hug and put up his hand saying
"No touching! No touching!"
Don't let that fool you. He always hugged with a smile despite the protest.

All were excellent listeners, though I tried not to talk about mom vs dad. That's not okay or fair to the kids. Boo took care of things... leaky faucets, etc. All were very protective.

But there was one thing that really helped a lot.
It is silly, but true.
Bear would crawl into bed with me. We'd watch Conan or something on TV. Then, we'd tell stories. Mine were very involved.
(You know how chatty I can be!)
When it was Bear's turn, she told the same story every time.
It never failed to make me laugh or to help me to fall asleep.
It went like this:

"I had a parrot. His name was Polly.
One day his head fell off.
So I taped it back on.
The end."

I find that I still tell myself that story when I feel down or blue or have trouble falling asleep. The words in my head always ring in the Bear's voice. It still makes me laugh and smile.

BTW, I know she got inspiration for it from Dumb and Dumber.
It doesn't matter.
Whatever does the trick.

Have a great day wherever you are... under piles of snow, slushing through rain or under a bright and sunny sky like me today.
I hope you stop and think about those folk who
are always there... in person or only their voice in your head...
who make your life full of joy.
Be thankful.


  1. I am so grateful for my girls. They have always been there when I needed them too. We are both so lucky, aren't we?

  2. Hear, hear. My kids began saving me from the minute my oldest arrived and it is still going on.
    Yes, I am very thankful.

  3. Churlita-- You are absolutely correct! I consider my children to be gifts and I am very blessed. I know you are too!

  4. laura b.-- Its kind of funny. We think that we are the care-givers and we are, but we get back what we give. Its pure treasure.

  5. Great reminder Ananda girl. It is real easy to lose sight of what is really important in your life and you have to be careful because if you do lose sight you might lose them forever. I am so grateful for my family, and I feel so fortunate to be able to share my days with them. And congrats on the newest member of your family. Roxy is a doll, and I love the name. If we ever got a female basset we were going to name her Foxy Roxy. Take care.

  6. Mr. Cube and I consider our girls the best thing we ever did. They are constant sources of wonderment for us. We may not be rolling in money, but we are rich in the important stuff department.

  7. BTW the doctored photo of Polly reminded me of the time I drew moustaches on my sisters while they slept. It was the first day of school and, unfortunately, I unwittingly used a Sharpie.

    I can't believe my sisters still love me unconditionally to this day.

  8. Mr. Shife-- Ha! I call her Foxy Roxy! Too funny.
    Thanks for the congrats. Give that boy a hug for me and a pat for Tank. Big grins!

  9. Cube-- That is so true. Kids are amazing sources of love and entertainment. Treasures for sure.

    Ha! about your sisters. The things we do to each other and our parents in the process. I bet your mom was not very thrilled with that one. Hee hee.

  10. I remember those early post-separation days when I was so thankful to have my kids.

  11. I need to hug my mom more. A nice reminder that those who are now alone still need a gentle touch.
    Congratulations on your new family member!

  12. Honestly, I don't know why my parents didn't ground me for life for that stunt. I guess by that time I had worn them out. I was such a brat.

  13. Love the polly story. What a great batch of kids you have!

  14. Hi Ananda girl. Have a good weekend.

  15. The unibrow? Nice pic of Selma Hayek when she was young. :)

  16. Just checking in... should I share Mr. Shife's sense of worry?

  17. I can't believe you posted that! Funny though. I was a funny kid. And the picture, was 4th grade- when Mrs. Vogel decided to set us up with make up classes and have glamor type pictures taken. I despised her for that. In 4th grade, did I really need to know how to apply eyeliner? Hahahah- Max added to finishing touches to the pic by the way.