FRIDAY YAY!

Blogger is being a testy old lady today... and wants to take an eternity to upload a simple photo.

Sorry, I got tired of waiting.  Its a sky photo, which can come in handy any day.  So another day then.

Yay!  The weekend is finally here.

Not that we have anything special planned.

Tomorrow will be the next Duck game.

We play Arizona there... in the heat, which our boys are not very used to, so it should add an interesting element to the game.

I don't know how Arizona is ranked, but they should prove to be a better test of our ability.

Today it is beautiful here.  The rainy days are gone for a few days and I plan to get out in the yard to continue my endless battle with the weeds.

We slept in.  Mostly because of a wicked chocolate jones last night around midnight...

that sent us off on a run to 7-Eleven.

Not the cheapest way to shop for chocolate...

we left with twelve dollars worth.

YIKES!

Okay... I would like your opinion on an idea that popped into my head.

As you know, I'd like to be bringing some money into the house and my unemployment is still up in  the air.

So, I thought about contracting myself out as 

a "story lady".

That was part of my job the past 15 years and I truly enjoy reading out loud to children.

I don't have many books, but I've read soooo many and there is a nice library here that can fill my needs.

It was not unusual for a teacher to call and ask me if I had time to read a story or two to the class so that she could get copies run off, attend a meeting, etc.

So my brilliant idea is to make up fliers selling my services for teachers.

I have no clue if it would fly or fall flat.

I do know that every class has a budget for such things.

What do you think?  Would it be a waste of time or might it pull in a bit of pocket money?

That's really all I am looking for...

I doubt seriously that it could work into anything more than "extra money".

However, it could open up a door as well as keep me in good practice.

I honestly am interested in your opinion.

On another note... the rains have brought the snails and slugs out.

Walking last night, we smashed 3 snails in the short walk to the truck.

Ick.

Beware of tiny crunchy terrors

and have a great weekend.

STORMS

Wow life is a roller coaster.

We are having ups and downs at every turn these days.  I had to take a breather.

Last you heard I had three interviews... as it turns out, they were actually "screenings" for interviews.

WTF?

So I dressed up and waited until they got around to me and then was screened... which basically meant I had three minutes to introduce myself and present my resume, letters of reference and make myself look interesting enough to interview.

Now I get to wait for three weeks to see if I even get the real interview.  Sheesh!

I was ordered by the emp. div. to attend a job fair.

I complied.  I want a job.

So there I was in a line that went down the block and around the corner with hundreds of other hopeful suckers.  It took a long time of waiting on the sidewalk, in the parking lot, up against the wall in the lobby, on the stairs and finally into a room with so many people in it that the smell was enough to make me ill.

Every man and woman in there seemed to be wearing enough perfume to kill a horse.

I spent most of my time in line thinking about what the weight limit was for the room.  I kid you not... the floor vibrated and shook. 

I thought... well, at least I have my cell phone so that I can call Randy and let him know I'm going to the hospital when the floor falls through.

Let us say it was a totally unproductive exercise that to my thinking was designed to mollify the unemployed masses into thinking that they are doing some thing for us.

I know.  I have a bad attitude.

I got official word that to the emp. div. thinking... I should not have moved until I had a job, therefore I forfeit my right to benefits, because I gave up a good job without just reasons.

Clearly they have never lived in Dumb Potter's Hell.

So... my mood soured and it showed.

Randy has not seen my mood swing aptitude prior to this.

It affected his mood.  He was worried about me.

Ironically, that made me feel better.

I don't like to see anyone else down... so I pulled myself back up to cheer him up.

So we decided to take it easy for the weekend.  No applications, no job talking.

BBQ and football.

Ducks did it again... 69 to 0 against Portland State.

That made us smile.

This week we play Arizona State there.

But we will be watching it on the tube.

I think it will be more of a challenge... but we will see.

After that we caught ex Duck, Dennis Dixson playing for the Pittsburgh Steelers.

Unfortunately, he was injured and carried off... but wow, what a great game.

After our lazy weekend, we did Monday Night Foot Ball at T and K's.  Watched the 49ners lose.  But it was a good close game and fun to watch.  The nachos and beer were pretty good too.

But the best surprise happened when T gave us tickets to see Heart at the Cuthburt.  He had purchased tickets himself, then won a pair.

It was an excellent concert.

The Wilson sisters are northwestern girls, so a huge crowd showed up.  The lead in act told us they went to college here.  But they did not confirm that or deny it.  So I can't say if that is true.  But they are from Oregon.

I have to tell you, Ann Wilson can really sing!

There were some surprises to be heard...

a mix of Gimmie Shelter and Even It Up was very effective.  They hit all their biggies and some new material off of a bran new album titled "Velvet Red Car."  But the real surprise came at the encore, when you would expect nothing but Heart songs.

Nope.

Would you have ever thought of Heart doing Led Zep's What Is and What Could Never Be?

Ann absolutely nailed it down tight.

Amazing.  Truly.

There was nothing about the show not to enjoy.

Ann still belts out rock and blues and her sister is no slouch either.

We had a great time.

Today we are back to the grind.

More online aps for me.

Oh yeah... I've got to go fax my appeal to the under employment monsters.

Then I have to wait 60 days for their new ruling on the matter.

Oh joy.
I think they are stalling in the hopes that I will get a job and not bother to collect the money I've been paying into it since I was 16.
Is there any way I can refuse to allow the money I put into my unemployment insurance to be used for their pay checks?
I'm thinking that they have forgotten who they work for.

GETTING OVER THE HUMP

Yikes! 

Fall is here already.  Outside trees are turning colors and we still have 5 days of summer left.

I'll  put up some photos of the color changes, but not today.   Today we begin a week of rain.

Oh boy!

It is once  more hump day.

This is a tough one for me.

Three interviews this afternoon and I am still working on the supplemental questions that accompany two of them.

Grumble.

But at least they are letting me answer them in a format and time frame that allows me to think and revise before I make a bafoon out of myself.

Good news:  My Ducks won their second game last weekend.  Was there ever a doubt?

Last night I got to watch my Red Sox beat the Mariners.  Hee hee.

Watching baseball in bed always makes me laugh when I think about that Woody Allen line... his therapist told him to relax and think about baseball to keep from being anxious in sexual situations and he says...

"But all I could think of was SLIDE, SLIDE SLIDE!"

There's your silly humor for the day.

I gotta go and whip this question monster into shape and then I'll be off to mortify myself

thrice.

This has got to end soon. 

Oh in the bad news catagory:

The state is unsure that I qualify for my employment benefits because I moved here to be with Randy.

I had a job 220 plus miles away that I could have kept.

Yep.  A nearly 3 hour commute should not have stopped me an iota.

Right.

If I can just get over this hump day,

I'll be grinning.

Hope you are all grinning.

Weekend bonus post

I got a wonderful email that made me laugh...

thought I would share it with you for a giggle.

Here is what the 5th grade class in Dumb Potter's Hell suggested that we do for wedding ideas.

Silly but wonderful.

:-)
Enjoy!

---

Angie:  I think you should have a cake with three layers, chocolate with fudge in the middle. (Oooh.. I agree!)

Araya:  I think you should have a dance floor and a disco ball.  You should have music and a DJ.

(Ah... not so much. Disco is not my thing.)

 

Logan:  You should have it where you can have skateboarding in the background.

(Cool beans!  Do you think I could get Tony Hawk to come?)

 

Wes: On the cake there should be a man in a suit and a lady in a wedding dress on top of your cake.

(I'm still voting for duck feet and shorts.)

 

Damon:  You should have a chandelier and kiss under that.

(N0 argument there... but where do we hang it?)

 

Nick:  You need to have a live band that plays what ever kind of music you and Randy like.

( I like that idea.)

 

Hannah K.:  You should be in the middle with everyone around you.

( Maybe with shot guns?)

 

Grant:  I am new but I think you should have your wedding in a little small house.

(Oooh... did that last time... it ends badly.)

 

Angie, again:  You should let people design your dress and cake.

(At least its not dead people.)

 

Logan:  You need flowers and coloful animals on the flowers or balloons.

( I want coloful animals!)

 

Devin:  You should have a dog bring in the ring.

( Yay!)

 

Alexis: You need a wedding party.

Hannah C:  You need a reception.

( We need kegs.)

 

Nick: invite pro skaters

( I guess Tony Hawk isn't enough.)

 

Damon:  You should have games like card games and party games.

(No Old Maid.)

 

Peighton:  you should rent a ball pit and a hot tub.

( Ha... I love this child! But I got all excited at first when I thought she wanted us to rent a pit bull.)

 

Wes:  You should have people who coming should bring a platter of food.

(Amen!  No presents, pot-luck.)

 

Audrey:  YOu should have a giraffe that you both ride off on.

(Ha!  This has got to be my favorite.)

Hope you all had a good laugh and a great weekend.  See you on Monday.

Big grins! 

LUCID DREAMING

I am not much of a dreamer.

I'm sure that I have them, but its been a long time since I regularly dreamed any that I recall

upon awakening.

Lucid dreaming is a big topic right now.

Sure, I have had them.

I did not know what they were at the time and frankly, they have been too brief for me to take control and direct where I want my dreams to go.

But they do have a quality that stays with you... a feeling or sense that makes them memorable.

Once, when I still shared a bed with the dreaded Medusa, I was falling asleep and felt something on my cheek.

I let my eyes open in a lazy way, feeling good and secure, snug in my warm bed... I could even feel the warm breeze blowing in my open window and smell the spring air as it fluttered my white linen curtains.

As my eyes focused, I was slammed into reality by the body of a spider the size of a large man's hand on my face.

I cannot recall crossing the room or even if I took a swipe at the monster, but surly I did that by reflex.

I must have screamed out loud because the Medusa scrambled after me like the house was on fire and in moments, my father and brother were searching the room for the hairy beast.

Oh say... 45 minutes or so later, they finally convinced me that no such spider existed and I had been dreaming.

That was a lucid dream.

The land of half awake, half asleep.

FREAKED ME OUT.

But that was a long, long time ago.

This morning I was laying in bed, in and out of sleep... again all warm and fuzzy.  I'd been roaming around the sheets, had played with the hair on Randy's chest.  I like the way I can curl them around my finger and they stay that way.

The idea of Shirley Temple chest curls cracks me up.

I smiled and rolled over to lay on my stomach and smell how nice my sheets smell, preparing to doze off again.

Outside the sounds of suburban life on trash and recycle day... that guy who forgot to put his out making the mad dash down the drive way with his containers bumping along and grinding.

Neighbor voices that you can't quite hear and who wants to?

Comforting sounds of life as usual.

Randy has not forgotten to do his containers since I have known him.  I get confused and have to ask if tomorrow is the day, or I catch on when he starts gathering stuff together for it.

I have a messy mind.  He doesn't.

It works.

These little thoughts and sounds were flitting past my receptors.

I'm a sprawler... I manage to take most of the space that he leaves vacant and stick some portion on my body into it.

A living rag doll.

Maybe I heard the chickens next door.

Maybe that was the trip wire.

I was transported to the street in front of our house... "the middle of the road, yeah".

Down a house two neighbors were talking and between us, my friend, the chicken.

I wasted no time wondering what it was doing in the road or even why I was in the road.

My only thought was... damn, I have to get my  camera!

I woke near the bedroom door... which is around the bed and through a little foyer sort of place, still naked, reaching for the knob... on a mission to get my camera and snap a picture of the chicken crossing the road... for the blog.

I did two things.  I laughed.

Then I was grateful that I had not made it outside

before reality and dream land separated.

Reminds me of that Bonnie Raitt song...

"Let's give them something to talk about."

Yep, I'm awake now.

It occurs to me that its a good thing I don't lucid dream very much, because in dream land, like in reality, I stay true to myself and act before I think.

This will be a working weekend for us.

Going up to Mom's to help trim the new siding they just put on their house.

Randy says we might have to sleep over.

I pointed out that they don't have a guest bed.

(Can you feel the beetled brows?)

Sigh.

What sort of things are you all getting up to this weekend?

How about lucid dreams... do you have them?

Can you direct them?

Oh... here's a gift!

Confessions of a Dumb, White Guy

Spam is Delicious

 

If several things here do not make you laugh out loud,

there is something wrong with you.

So go and enjoy Mr. Shife like I do...

and hey, have a wonderful weekend!  

THIS AND THAT THURSDAY

This was a wonderful fresh grilled tuna sandwich.

YUM.

Okay so the last few days I've been doing the "Fearful Shuffle"... AKA "Turkey Trots, Backing Up the Porcelain Bus, and the Ut-Ohs".

I am glad to say that its over now and I am once more as functional as I get.

Of course I managed to pass it on to poor Randy.

But that's what he gets for laughing at me and saying he's not "a-scared" of my germs when I was avoiding passing it on.

Be careful what you wish for.

:-)

On an equally frustrating subject... my name...

having a name has become quite a problem.

In that according to the decree set in the grand court of Hood River Oregon, I am known legally by my maiden name.

Yeah... except that my license says my married name.

My last employer is going by my maiden name.

Like wise, my insurance company, who sends me nice fat checks when I turn receipts in... and I do!

But my only bank account, the DMV, the IRS and SSI has my married name.

This you probably recall me bitching about in the past.

I tell you now, that being "me" has become somewhat of a monster!

Its a name game that is driving me mad.

Employers, banks... any reputable place wants to see my ID.  And it does not match up.

I have taken to carrying my divorce decree.

How weird is that?

I am waiting on California to get around to sending my birth certificate.  When it did not show, I contacted them.

I consider this important.

They don't.

In fact, they have lost my request and my money.

Someone is looking into it.

 

They have me by the short and curlies.

Because I am not frustrated enough by life in general, I compounded the name game by adding in a new player... marriage license.

I explained to the woman that I am inquiring at this point to see what ID I need.

She giggled when I asked if they would accept my current ID... though not my current legal name...

if I brought my divorce decree.

She said:

"Are  you sure you want to get married again so soon?" then laughed out loud.

I was not amused.

It boils down to this;

in order to get married and change my name to Randy's... I have to first change my ex-married name to my maiden name and then change it to Randy's name.

Its like a bad children's rhyme.

There was an old woman who got a divorce...

a divorce?  Of course!  She got a divorce!

She changed her name from S to K...

From S to K?  Well that's the way!  She changed her name from S to K!

She went to the DMV... To get herself free, to get herself free she went to the DMV.

They sent her to SSI... to SSI the first part of the pie.

The first part of the pie... oh my, how many pieces of pie!

From SSI to CA... to certify that she was once born with that name... To get back to the name she was born with in CA!

I could go on but you have to be bored by now and you get the picture.

I decided to alter the rhyme that is driving me bat shit and go to one of the more expensive online birth certificate producers.

They're faster, they're just as certifiable and  golly...

I still like me.

Whoever the heck I am.

Maybe then I can cash or deposit a check without having to sign it over to the "order of Randy".

Sheesh!

Not that I don't trust him.  What's mine is his and what's his is mine.

That is beside the point.

Like Pinoccio...

Someday I want to be real too.

Has anyone seen that dratted fairy?

QUACK OUT LOUD

What a great week and weekend!  

First my kids came to visit.  Notably: Bear

 ...her Turkey

 ...Max 

...and Squeaky.  

 Not the best photo of this fella... operator error!

They arrived Thursday evening and stayed until mid-day on Friday.

The idea of course is to give them and Randy an opportunity to get to know each other.

The Bear and Randy have met before and spoken on the phone... most notably when I broke down at a rest stop one night and my phone died as soon as I managed to get the information out of my mouth to Randy, who called Bear and worked out rescue.

It's a story you have heard before, but it did create a good beginning to a relationship between them.

We did our usual things... a BBQ of course!

We wanted to have fresh muscles or oysters in a wonderful Asian chili sauce, but alas, there were none to be had that day.  We opted instead for burgers or brats, little smokies in a lovely habenero

sauce or kielbasa in  sweet sauce for nibbles.

I intended to serve some fresh green beans with peppered bacon, but that did not happen and with all the other chips, etc, who needed something healthy in this wonderful heart attack mix?

Mostly we yakked and yakked.

Ah... as in talking, not the other version.

I got some great photos and then they were gone.

Sigh.

I miss them, but we text or yak on the computer all the time anyway.  They are never truly far away.

:-)

We spent the rest of Friday running errands we needed to do... check on a job for Randy, clean up, though Bear did the dishes and left everything else tidy.  We were so full from the day before that we did not even bother with diner... just hit the sack exhausted.

Saturday my eyes popped open at an ungodly hour.

I was so excited!  

My first ever Ducks game at Autzen Stadium.

I did not know the drill and though Randy did tell me when the game was, "my rememberer is broke".

I thought, because the idea of a party before noon does not compute in my brain... that the tail gate party was what began at 12:30.

Wrong.  That was kick-off time.

The others began tail gating at 9:30AM!

YIKES!

I still had my jammies on.

I left my camera at home in my excitement.

But we drove to a shopping center parking lot where the shopping center is gone, but the lot still exists and took our place in line to ride the "Duck Bus".

It wasn't a long ride, but a pretty one.  The mood was energized and everyone gabbed with each other.

The scenery here is beautiful and we crossed the river a couple of times... yeah, the same river... don't ask, I still get lost and don't understand the geography here.

The Duck Bus let us off at the back of Autzen.

No worries... a bit of a walk to where the big bus sized RVs were waiting with our friends and their families.

I was assured that 11:00 beer is tradition and imbibed two.  This is supposed to make the game more enjoyable.  I can't say if that is true because I had a wonderful time but it was my first live game and I doubt that it could have been less enjoyable, beer or not.

Time for us all to part.  They had season tickets that they have had for over 20 years.

We had one game only tickets that we got with a two for one deal through Bi-Mart.

"There are no bad seats in Autzen."

Even if you are not in a prime location, you have a giant screen to watch and the tiers allow you to see over the tallest folk.

We were admittedly in the nose bleed section.

Row 92, on the aisle.

By the time we got up there, I rued the beer and had to use my asthma huffer.

But the view!

We could see everything.

The game itself was fun... ending score was Ducks 72 to poor New Mexico's 0.

As near as I know the Lobos are not even rated and we are last year's Pack 10 champions.

Not what you would call a challenging match.

I did feel bad for the Lobos.

But tons of fun.  I enjoyed everything.

Autzen is a very loud stadium and its fans are fanatical.  Every single time the boys of fall line up, the sound begins... all fans wind up with yelling 

"Oooooooooooooooooo!" in a crescendo until the ball is set into motion.  Every single time.  It is an incredible sound meant to encourage our boys and unnerve the enemy.

When the slaughter of woeful wolves ended, we made our way back to the RVs for a bit more nosh and mingle, then we were off to the Duck Bus for the ride home.  Spirits could not be higher... and neither could some of the passengers.  Hee hee.

We're talking happy fans.

So what did we do with our evening?

Well, our arch nemesis... The Oregon Beavers

were on the tube playing Texas Christian and even though the plan is to grind up those nasty Beavers in our Civil War game, we are after all, Oregonians and had to back our state.  Yep, Beavers for a few hours, but TCU took it 30-21.  Oh well.

Can you ever get enough college football?

Nope.

Then we watched USC vs Hawaii... a much closer fight, with USC winning 49-36.

There was another game, Oklahoma vs Utah, but the old gal fell asleep part way into it...

we were watching in bed by then.

It was a long, delightful day.

Today I have a couple of aps to fill out in the hopes of working at Uof O.

Now wouldn't that be a hoot?

And maybe a discount on tickets!

Oh, the title of this post comes from one of the many great fan shirts we saw... QOL (quack out loud!) .

But I think my favorite one was " High on quack, cranked on Duck".

That pretty much says it all.

Okay, so you know we are getting married.

We want a casual wedding... BTW, I hate weddings.

So far the plan is to BBQ... now who would have guessed that?  We're thinking shorts and flip-flops, make the ceremony as brief as possible within the law.

Got any ideas for decoration or amusement?

Hey... no joke there was talk of Elvis performing the rites!

Any idea is fair game.  Our main theme is to be together with friends and family and have fun.