Wednesday, June 30, 2010

why DID the chicken cross the road?

Yesterday I did a meme begun, for me anyway, at House of Lime.  It ended with my ten questions for anyone who cared to answer.  Crazy4Coens at
10 from my friend Ananda 
answered mine and gave out ten of her own... which I will answer here before a brief set of general comments and some photos at the end.

1. What is your earliest memory?

The earliest memory that I can recall is sitting on Papa's knee while he played checkers.  He called me  "jitter bug".  I guess I was wiggly even back then.

2. Did you ever believe in the Easter Bunny?

What?  I still believe in the Easter Bunny!

3. Where did you learn the most - preschool, elementary school, junior high, high school, college, post grad, or elsewhere?

Out of all my schools, Ananda would be where I learned the most... though little was educational.
However, I have to say that life has taught me more through experience than any school ever could...
good and  bad. 

4. What is your favorite Bob Dylan song or album?

My current favorite Dylan song... and it cycles...
is (with thanks to Cricket)
Bob backed by Dire Straits
"I Believe In You" 

5. If your house was on fire (or flooding, or in the path of tornado) what would you be glad (secretly or otherwise) to never see again?

A few months ago I'd have toasted marshmallows
if the box on rocks had caught fire...
Now I'd do my best to throw my body on this house and roll on it to snuff the fire out. 

6. Would you rather read fiction or non-fiction and why?

I read anything and enjoy it.  I like to learn, but I love fiction most.  It's the imagination and story telling quality that snare me.

7. Do you receive the newspaper delivery at your home?


8. Mac or PC?


9. Was your first kiss all that you hoped it would be?

It was down right creepy and totally unexpected.

10. If you won the lottery, what would be the first thing you would spend money on?

A bran spanking new fire engine red 
Dodge Challenger.

Ta dah!  Thanks for playing C4C... fun questions!

Now for general nonsense...

I caught this city chick strutting across my driveway a few minutes ago.   

She did not want to be photographed... and when I tried to ask her why she had crossed the road...

she successfully evaded answering me by hiding under the camp trailer.  What a nice surprise to begin my day!

So in honor of my little red guest... why do you think the chicken crossed the road? 

A joke I laughed myself silly over:

Two wives of best friend husbands decided to go out while their husbands watched a game on TV.  Over the course of the evening, they laughed and drank a bit more than they should.  Being responsible, they decided to walk home, though it was very late.  
"Oh crap!  I have to pee!"  One announced.  The other said she needed to go as well.  They held it as long as they could, until passing a cemetery, decided to use the privacy there to relieve themselves.  Being clean women, one used her panties to wipe and the other a ribbon from a withered floral arrangement.

The next day one husband calls the other...
"I think we have a problem.  My wife came home without her panties!"

The other husband snorted...
"You bet we do!  My wife came home with a card stuck to her butt that reads... We will all miss you!"

Now go forth and giggle into the world.  Have a merry day everyone!



  1. a baby pit should take care of your chicken problem.

  2. billy pilgrim-- Hahahaha... indeed it would! I am having trouble being patient. I've even tested out the baby gates on Millie the basset and Champ the golden... but no baby yet.

  3. ananda and billy - a chihuahua would work, too! P'Headro chases our lone surviving chicken every chance he gets.

    ananda - thanks for answering the questions!!!! great work!!!!

    also, my favorite chicken joke, from a million years ago - why did the chicken cross the road? because she was stapled to colonel sanders.

  4. My favorite chicken joke:

    Q: Why did the chicken cross the road?
    A: To prove to the opossum it could be done.

    Glad you liked the song so much. My favorite Bob Dylan song, as performed by him, is Sweetheart Like You. Runner-up: Just Like A Woman, Concert For Bangla Desh version.

    Favorite Dylan song, performed by someone else: My Back Pages, Byrds version. Still like all of those as much now as when I first heard them.

  5. C4C-- You are welcome!

    Stapled! YIKES! I bet that chicken was soon to be a battered in secret spices and boiled in grease to become one hot chick!

  6. Cricket-- Hahaha. That would be a doubting opossum. I used to be married to one of those.

    I did indeed. Dire Straits is a group that I enjoy very much too. Sort of a bonus deal.

    Its near impossible to choose just one Dylan song. I find that I often choose one of his according to my mood at the moment.

  7. I'd actually love having a visiting chicken.

    As for the Easter Bunny - in this family I AM the Easter Bunny so I have to believe!

  8. Another great meme! I am so bad at telling jokes, even in writing :-)

  9. secret agent woman-- I did get a kick out of it. Our neighbors have them. I've met the white ones before, but not this little red hen.
    She stayed most of the day. I was happy to have her eating the garden bugs.

    Hahaha! So I know the Easter Bunny too! How cool is that?

  10. laura b.-- Thanks. I am not very good at it either. But I keep trying.

  11. That was so funny.

    I love your new chicken friend.

    My first real kiss with this gay male friend of mine, my first year in college. We got super drunk and went dancing. On the way home, we kept stopping and making out while laughing because it was so ridiculous. It was kind of perfect for me.

  12. I think chickens are hilarious to watch. I would so welcome a chicken visitor to my yard, but I'm afraid my 3 cats wouldn't be so friendly.

    These are some of my favorite chicken jokes:

    A man was driving along a freeway when he noticed a chicken running alongside his car. He was amazed to see the chicken keeping up with him, as he was doing 50 mph. He accelerated to 60, and the chicken stayed right next to him. He sped up to 75 mph, and the chicken passed him. The man noticed that the chicken had three legs. So he followed the chicken down a road and ended up at a farm. He got out of his car and saw that all the chickens had three legs. He asked the farmer, "What's up with these chickens?" The farmer said "Well, everybody likes chicken legs, so I bred a three-legged bird. I'm going to be a millionaire." The man asked him how they tasted. The farmer said, "Don't know, haven't caught one yet."
    In my day, we didn't ask why the chicken crossed the road. Someone told us that the chicken crossed the road, and that was good enough for us.
    You saw it cross the road with your own eyes. How many more chickens have to cross before you believe it?
    The fact that you are at all concerned that the chicken crossed the road reveals your underlying sexual insecurity.
    I missed one?
    Gilligan: The traffic started getting rough; the chicken had to cross. If not for the plumage of its peerless tail the chicken would be lost, the chicken would be lost!
    Albert Einstein: Whether the chicken crossed the road or the road crossed
    the chicken depends upon your frame of reference

    And saving the best for last...

    Why did the chicken cross the road?
    Don't ask me, ask the chicken!

  13. Nice work. I don't know if you heard Bill Clinton's answer to why did the chicken cross the road? Bill Clinton: I did not cross the road with THAT chicken. What do you mean by chicken? Could you define chicken, please?
    I hope you have a great holiday weekend, all is well with you.

  14. mr. shife - that made me laugh! is there anything bill clinton can't make funny? oh yeah perjury!

  15. Great joke. And, insofar as the chicken, my favorite (though a bit outdated) is...

    "Because he was stapled to a punk rocker."

  16. Non-smoking John Locke: "The chicken crossed the road for a reason."

  17. dmarks - i love that you called him non-smoking john locke! made me think, but i got it. so much better than non-dead john locke.

  18. Churlita-- I enjoyed the chicken too!
    I wished she would come back, but so far that hasn't happened.

    What is it with first kisses anyway?
    That's a total hoot!

  19. Cube-- Right you are about the cats!
    Cats know who are cat people and several neighborhood cats have found me... a grey and white sweetie scared my chicken friend right out of here.

    I tried to ask that chicken, but she refused to answer! Hahahaha... love all the examples.

  20. Shife-- Ha! Great Bill stuffs! I am having a ball right now... unfortunately my Hal 9000 is not working right... can't connect, so I am having to borrow Randy's slug. :-(
    Otherwise, it could not be better. Hope you are all having a great fourth!

  21. C4C-- Frankly on the Bill issues... I get stuck on that cigar thing! Then it runs into the idea of who would save a "soiled" dress for over a year like that? Just creeps me out... the both of them. Makes me want to plug my ears and go "lalalalalalala"

  22. dmarks-- Yep, that would be non-smoking John Locke.

  23. Suldog-- What is this deal with stapling chickens? Though I must say it is in keeping with the punk rock sort of theme.

    Glad you enjoyed the joke. It still makes me giggle.

  24. C4C-- Your baby would certainly scare off any chicken. He looks tough for an ankle biter! Go P'Headro!

  25. I made up a joke which noone thinks is funny, but it cracks me up every time.

    Why did the bear cross the road?
    Because it was chicken!

    [you can substitute any animal for bear]

  26. the chicken was a dirty double crosser!

  27. NoRegrets-- Hahahaha... actually I liked it.

  28. lime-- Hahahaha! I like that one.