Thursday, April 9, 2009

God shoes

Blogger is being a deevil today. I wrote a wonderful post, in my not very humble opinion and it did all sorts of deevilish things to it when I tried to post! So...

This is an old post... obviously since in it I talk about spring break, which is over everywhere by now. But it happens to be my very favorite post ever! I suppose its the absurdity of the content. I hope you enjoy it as a re-run, which I don't often do. Hopefully Blogger will be better behaved tomorrow. :-)

My friend Annie also works in education. She's on her spring break this week and had to email me to rub it in. That's okay, I did the same to her last week. My reply was that I was tired and my feet were killing me. I have totally worn out the pair of shoes I got five months back. She emailed back the solution...

"God shoes! Take care of your feet!" Well, yes. Of course. Why didn't I think of that?

So what were we talking about here? Jesus sandals? Perhaps Mercury's winged sandals? Those would never wear out. But the down side is that I would lose the benefit of walking. I can't imagine you'd burn many calories when your sandals did all the flying. Your heart rate wouldn't budge.

By the way, don't confuse Mercury (Roman) with his counterpart Hermes (Greek). Mercury was the messenger to all his gods and Hermes was for Zeus. Only Mercury had winged sandals called talaria, a winged hat called a petasos, and a messenger staff called a caduceus... which we in America see as a medical symbol. Hermes just had itty-bitty wings on his ankles. I don't need those. It's bad enough I've got to worry about Zeus's thunder thing happening with my thighs.
Hermes did have a messenger staff too, the rod of Asclepius. But they were different... a "one snake or two" sort of deal.

So I sat down and googled "god shoes" and sure enough, it's there. My favorite is the episode of
Married...With Children called God's Shoes.
I loved that show. I would have fed Al. Bad Peg!

Married...With Children: God's Shoes

But I also like John Leguizamo. He was a great villain in Spawn (1997) as an eeeevil clown. He made a great "girl" named Chi-Chi Rodriguez in To Wong Foo, Thanks for Everything! Julie Newmar (1995). He has played Catalina's cousin on My Name Is Earl . Talk about a wide range! But for my purposes today...Where God Left His Shoes (2007). Maybe if I watch it I can find out where they are.

There are also "Jesus sandals" and something called "God Shoes" that are really "Jesus sandals" of a type that Jesus would never be caught wearing.

By this time though, I had figured it out. What I had seen as "God shoes", was "good shoes" with an "o" missing. Who knows where the other "o" went. I knew what my next step was... email her and raz her about it.

Tonight I hope that you have good shoes... of the god type or not and happy feet. I hope too that if you are able that you will use yours to enjoy the wonders of spring.


  1. "Hermes just had itty-bitty wings on his ankles"

    Namor the Sub Mariner, one of Marvel's oldest superheroes, has feet like that. Looks pretty silly. But from the neck up, he looks like Spock.

    Great post.

  2. And I mainly know Leguizamo from the "Super Mario Brothers" where he played Luigi Luigi.

  3. dmarks-- Thank you! I had a lot of fun with this one. I know Namor the Sub Mariner. He really does look like Spock, though I had not thought about it before. Ha I've never seen "Super Mario Brothers". Would I like it? Big grin.

  4. "Super Mario Bros" is not the best movie, but it is audacious in its weirdness. Much of it takes place in an alternate reality city called "Dinohattan" where men descended from dinosaurs rule. They drive around in cars fitted with giant spark-generating dynamos. Not sure why, but that part looks cool.

    Mario is played by Bob Hoskins, the guy from Roger Rabbit. He and his brother charge into battle with plungers and yell "Glug! Glug!"

    They are rescuing Princess Peach, whose father is a sort of slime mold, and the rightful king of the place. He looks like fuzzy snot draped all over. Not a man draped in it. But just the stuff, like gross silly string.

  5. dmarks-- Sounds like I would probably enjoy it for it's oddness. Sometimes the weirder the better. Gee, I'd hate to be the guy who played Princess Peach's dad. I think maybe I recall seeing the commercials now. My boys say that their big brother took them to see it. That explains how I missed it. I'll have to look for it in the mark down bin. : )

  6. I think eventually that the fuzzy snot turned into a man. But it was pretty disgusting. His throne room was like the inside of a pumpkin when you start to carve a jack-o-lantern (but without the seeds). Dennis Hopper plays the villain.

    It might be the best videogame movie ever made. But that is not saying much, is it? "Tomb Raider" was OK, but it was mundane compared to the weirdness of "Super Mario Bros".

  7. dmarks-- lol and ick! Though you can't be my age and not like Dennis Hopper can you?

    I've never been good at video games. My boys think that Final Fantasy Tactics is THE be all, end all of video games. They are currently playing Halo 3. I get a kick out of it because it's what the Red VS Blue folk used to do their funny videos.

  8. has your friend annie ever peed on yellowdog's chair?

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  11. i think i gave my shiny silver boots to eliot in the sanitarium.

  12. billy--Oh no! I got the color of the boots wrong!
    Well, Eliot will treasure them always. Ah, the things you did made me smile. : ) I am missing Kurt today.

  13. I could use a good pair of god shoes...Or good shoes. Either one.

  14. Churlita, a friend of mine said it sounded like you could use god shoes to walk on water... giggle...but I'd settle for some that weren't trying to kill my feet. : )