SOFA STALKER

Have you ever heard of a crouch? Check this out: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cUYSTVKLKdE The four nuts on this crouch remind me of four nuts I used to live with once upon a time.

I had seen it several times and paid it no mind other than to bank the information that this was the ugliest sofa I had ever seen. It was Pepto-Bismol pink, covered in tiny, sharp, hairs and had a taste vacuum where style should have been. I may have thought that whoever had tossed the India print bedspread over it had made a wise choice, but you know, you don't think much about other people's sofas, you sit on them.

At the time I was still in college, living in the bottom half of an old farm house that had been poorly converted into a large apartment. There were five of us to split the $75.00 a month rent. Could you handle that? Ha. The college had purchased all the houses and building for a couple of blocks for future expansion. In the meantime, they rented to students cheap. My roommates were all male, E, R,M and W... W was my boyfriend. (N0, not that W... eew!) The guys had all been buds since grammar school and we were plagued with pranks and insanity. Someone was constantly waking me up in the middle of the night and begging me to cook for them. Yeah, I did it.

We had a curious bathroom. The shower was a small tiled room with six shower heads. There were three pedestal sinks and down a long narrow hall behind the shower room was the toilet... sitting in the dark without a door. We got a kick out of the reactions of anyone who needed to use the loo. E would say "We never have to wait our turn in the shower." Or "We have an extra head if you want to use it." face stone sober. People would ask me... is he kidding? Duh.

One night Annie and I went to a party at her boyfriend's house. The place was jammed. But as it emptied out, I realized that Annie was gone for the night. I could not deal with walking that far in the dark alone, so I settled down on the ugly sofa for the night. A house renter passed me, took pity and brought me a pillow and a beach towel to use for a blanket. Then he thoughtfully turned on Sticky Fingers (The Rolling Stones) loud enough to make the floor vibrate. I dropped off anyway. Adapt or die. This is the album cover... yeah, you can unzip him. It's Andy Warhol, in the pants and in the whitie- tighties inside the zipper. I still have this album.

I had to fight that crouch all night long! The pillows kept sliding out from under me. I'd fall off the outer edge or get sucked into the valley left by the evacuation of the pillows. By the time dawn arrived, I was more than ready to walk home alone. I left Annie to follow her path and made the journey back to my own sweet bed, glad to leave the people eating crouch behind.

Two brothers lived above us in the top half of the converted house. They would sit on their balcony and we'd visit from below. A few weeks after the party, I looked up to wave at the brothers and stopped dead in my tracks. They were sitting on the ulgy sofa. THE ugly sofa that eats people.
I gave an inward shiver and decided it was their problem, grateful it was not mine. I pretty much put it out of my mind after that.

But you've guessed by now what happened. I came home from work one day and there was E and R sitting on the ugly sofa in my living room. They looked so happy and proud. I didn't have the heart to tell them that their big furniture score was my dreaded crouch. Not much long after, W and I split up. I hated to leave the strange house behind. Time for Quonset hut life. See photo below. I took E with me ( he was happily dating a friend of mine). I left the people eating crouch.
It seemed a fitting parting gift, but that's an inside joke. giggle



(I had to post this partially complete, because it was the night I go to the town to the left for much of my evening. As Mondays go, it was not bad at all. I had an especially fun morning. It was lovely. Thanks to all who have stopped by.)

My hope for everyone tonight is that you find a way to leave those things behind you that follow you, unwanted. And take those things with you that make you feel safe and do your heart good, like my friend E. Big smile.