Friday, January 8, 2010

SANCTUARIES


There have been only a few people in my life that I have felt that I could count on 100%. I enjoy people and like most people I meet. But you know the kind of people that I am talking about... I've even had "close" friends who do not fit into this category. X never even made it into my exclusive group. (Yeah, okay... should have been a clue but live and learn.)


You know... the ones you know are always there. All you have to do is pick up the phone and in some cases... they actually feel when you have a problem and magically show up. They always know the right thing to say, no matter how terrible the trouble you've managed to get yourself into... and the advice is honest without guile or pretense. They are there, stones against the fire, keeping the flames at bay, willing to get burned in the process if required. Rare treasures. They keep your secrets, they keep you sane and they keep you safe. They do not judge. They accept without question. They tell you the truth even when it is difficult. They share your joys, feel your pain, grieve with you. They hear what you mean, no matter how badly you say it. They forgive your stupidities. God Lord... they actually enjoy you... even when you are a smart ass or drunk as a skunk.



I have been fortunate enough to have two. You know about mine because I post about them. Maybe too much, but you know, they are important in my life. They provide unconditional affection, trust and support. Things I require. I cannot imagine a world without them. I know that someday they will be gone. I hope I go first and don't have to face that.


I don't include my family in this group. Though I get the same sort of thing there. If nothing else, I have reared loyal children. Loyal to me and to each other. Loyal to their dad. I am proud of that. Boy have they put up with a lot of crap too. Not that I believe they are perfect. We all fall down. I fall down plenty... just ask Bear.



Who is like that for you? Share what you want or not. I understand that some relationships defy description or are private. I still can't find enough words in my head to explain one of mine.



Well, my voice is sort of back. I won't have to take the whiteboard with me on my date. But my voice still has the appeal of fingernails on a chalk board. Charming! Depending on how it goes and if I get permission, I will share photos. Respecting privacy is a big deal to me.



So is freedom of speech and censorship. Unfortunately, you will now see one of those comment monitors below. I hate to do that! I value people's right to their opinion. Here is the tricky part. Some people's opinions upset others... who have the right not to be offended. So with some upset... an amendment to Oodles of Funch that I never expected to see here... if I feel that a comment will insult one of my bloggers, myself, my family or my rare friends mentioned above... I will decline it. Done and done.


Have a wonderful Saturday. I am hoping to... yikes. First meetings are so nerve wracking. Monday I start doing my Tax-mas dance. That's where I get my W-2 before anyone else and get them done so that we can get on with the festivities... such as the celebration of repaired vehicles... by a freaking real mechanic this time.


The pond is silent now, but hey... just got a missive a bit ago despite the late hour. Cool beans.


Okay... I'm having trouble getting my comment natzi to show up.  Can anyone tell me how to do that.  Sheesh!



31 comments:

  1. For me, the frienships I value most are those friends who do not judge me - I can tell them anything, knowing they will love me regardless.

    Is the comment nazi coment moderation? You do that through the dashboard - click on the settings tab and within that menu, the comments tab, and then in that there is an option half-way down to enable comment moderation for all posts.

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  2. SInce I just posted that, I see that you have it working now.

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  3. secret agent woman-- That is exactly how I feel about these people.

    Thank you. I fought with that silly thing to get it going. I don't see it on my comment spot, so I was confused.

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  4. I have a huge support system in my family and for that I am truly grateful. I had a friend, the maid of honor at my wedding who was an unconditional friend like the ones you write about, but I lost her. I always assumed we would get to be old ladies drinking mixed drinks in the shade and having fun conversations, but it wasn't meant to be.
    She died of lung cancer. I cried for days and I cry now because I still miss her and what could have been.

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  5. I know just what you are talking about and it is rare thing. Like you, my ex was never that person for me. I have someone now with good potential at least :-) My kids, my mom, I can count on them. But otherwise, at this particular point in my life, I don't really have that with anyone. Hm.

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  6. The comment Nazi has prevented my comment for quite a while now. I'm just sayin'

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  7. I am so glad that you have people and places that you consider to be sanctuaries. While it's good that I feel that I'm my own sanctuary, for far too long it's been an isolating feature in my life. No longer really working the way I had envisioned in the beginning.
    Time to look elsewhere. Inward and outward.
    Thanks for reminding me, Ananda and friends.
    There's a big, beautiful world out there.

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  8. Cube-- I am so sorry about your friend! Devastating. Makes me feel like crying too. I know what that would do to me.

    The comment natzi is a pain in the rear!

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  9. laura b.-- I hope that DR becomes one. :-)
    As for family, they cannot be beat.

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  10. Peggy-- Yes there is. Too bad we do not live closer. (I'll find a way down there yet!)

    Hey... one of you... maybe Mr. Cool need to tell the piper that I say hello for me. I need to email him again. Sweet man.

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  11. Most monkeys have just been future disappoints to me. Just saying.

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  12. You want unconditional love on this rock? Really? Well, are you willing to give it to everyone else?

    No, I'm sure that you are not. Love on this rock has conditions, many of them. It's been my experience over my long life that those that expect unconditional love are those that are constantly screwing up.

    I think that they should give some serious thought to how they won't screw up so much. Or just remove themselves from the gene pool.

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  13. You don't have enough to do so you go to comment approval to give yourself more work?

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  14. Billy B.-- I have never met anyone who does not screw up... and I have met you remember. ha

    Yes, I do give unconditional love back to them. You should try it sometime. It is an amazing experience. Very satisfying.

    By the way, I believe in the right to choose suicide. But that is not my ending... but I do know what it is.

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  15. Billy B.-- It became something required.

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  16. I screw up, but admit it when I do, and then move on to wiser ways.

    What become required? The universe requires nothing of us.

    You know what your ending is? Ha ha ha ha ha ha. Stop that, your cracking me up.

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  17. Well, maybe you meant moderation became something required? Not that I haven't had to resort to that some. I can take a hell of a lot but a few have pushed me too far.

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  18. Those few of course are too well off and too spoiled.

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  19. Billy B.-- I suppose I can get hit by a bus in the meantime.

    I don't mind spoiled people. Some have something worth saying.

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  20. Something worth saying and something worth contributing to society are two different things.

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  21. Billy B.-- I suppose I can get hit by a bus in the meantime.

    That would of course prove that you didn't know.

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  22. I'm going to turn in early before I get your head spinning around too fast. Sweet dreams of frogs.

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  23. Oh, one more comment before I turn in. I would hate it if a woman gave me unconditional love. For reasons I won't try to explain here.

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  24. Billy B.-- Yes, that's why I said it.

    You have a nice night and a good day tomorrow.

    I had a lovely time with my frog today.

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  25. In my opinion, over the years, with the many, many people I have had the pleasure to have met and even known, you, Ananda, have truly shown that you give unconditional love. You embrace people immediately, you don't judge, and you always stive to see their point of view as well as their goodness.
    I cherish you as a friend.
    I will ask Mr. Cool to contact our Pied P. He really is a very sweet man.
    Hope your date went well.

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  26. Peggy-- Thank you, though you humble me. I cherish your friendship as well. Hug Mr. Cool for me. (That's as close as I can get... darn it. ha)

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  27. I wouldn't expect unconditional liking, but I do want unconditional love from my true friends and I happily give that in return. It would be a cold world without it.

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  28. it really is a rare gift to have a friend like that. i'm thankful to have at least one.

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  29. I feel so lucky to have such great friends. I try never to take them for granted.

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  30. Churlita-- I bet your friends treasure you too!

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