Sunday, January 24, 2010


Wow. What a perfect song for this post.  Funny how I got it too.  This morning when I was considering what I wanted to do with today's post, I went brain dead.  So I emailed DH and said... don't think... just tell me the first song that pops into your head.  This was it.

Its funny because I did not know what I was going to write about yet.  I was going to use whatever song he gave me as a prompt. Nor did I look at his email until I knew what I was going to write about. It turned out to be so perfect!
I love it when stuff like that happens.

I know I get wordy and I will try to keep it brief. But I am what I am.

Date one was with a very nice man.  When he arrived... half an hour early, I was just stepping out of the shower.  Max taps on the door and tells me there's an oopaloompa at the door. Max was wrong,he wasn't blue. 

We went to see Extraordinary Measures with Harrison Ford and Brandon Frasier.  It was a good movie... made me cry of course.  Pizza.  Nice drive after.  Bear texted me during the movie to see if I was hacked up and neatly packed in glad bags yet. I made it home in one piece.

Today's date (Sunday) arrived an  hour and a half early.  I am seeing a trend here.  I am an exactly on time person.  X's family can't tell time and are up to two hours late.  Used to drive me bonkers.  This one I told to hold tight, I was no where near ready.

We met for lunch.  The conversation was good.  He was nice,a bit older than me, but not too much.  We talked in the restaurant for a long time.  Then I took him on a tour of the town... which took about 20 minutes because I drove slowly. Then we sat next to his car and talked a lot longer. Sigh.  Sweet man. Owns a lot of property, nice cars and three homes. But I am not looking for sugar toppings.

The problem with dating is me, I think.  I know in my head what I want.  I know when I see someone and talk to them for a bit if it will work for me.  I have settled in the past.  I am too old to settle now.  I know that I am no fantastic glorious pie in the sky catch. I'm also not looking for a perfect person.  I still want the right one.  Better alone than sorry... and I know me.

And so, as the song says... I know what price I am willing or not willing to pay.  Unfortunately, the price this weekend was telling two very nice men that I was not interested.  I hate that part. I feel guilty that they have spent money, time and effort on me. But I owe them the truth.

On the flip side, I expect to be told in person at the time if its not going to work for them too.  I enter this with no expectations, other than to see what there is to see.  I prefer honesty. I am not offended by it.  I do not give my heart away easily anymore.  I learned that lesson a long, long time ago... and tried for too many years to make the best of a unwise situation.

The first one listened to me, then said "Well can we at least go out some more?  Maybe you'll change your mind."  I had to say no.  But he took it fairly well. I slept okay.

The second one did not.  He looked offended, sounded offended and left in a huff.  I feel like scum!  Crap.  But there's the price.  I cannot please anyone until I can please myself on this issue.  That may be cold, I don't know.  I tell myself that it would only become harder to do and more awful if they are allowed time to get invested. I am not pulting either of them.  It just didn't work out... time for them to find a new pond. So it goes.  Two less frogs.

There you have it.  I'm still motoring.  Meanwhile... train two has left the station.  It sounds like he may land stop here by mid-week.  I'm really looking forward to this meeting.  One way or another it will end well... we are already friends anyway if nothing more happens and that is fine with me.
Like I said, it has to be right on both ends.

The only thing that can really go wrong is if the two trains collide and arrive at the same time.  Cross your fingers. I'm not even going to think about what happens beyond that.  There is no point until you know.

What did you do with your weekend?

(BTW... this is Monday's post.)

Thanks to some wise words from DH... I will be alright tonight. Big grins!

Live Wishes Bootleg, Los Angeles 1986. From the 7 Wishes Tour.

Kelly Keagy
Jack Blades
Jeff Watson
Brad Gillis
Alan Fitzgerald

Both teams did a heck of a job playing.  Best game I have seen all season. Vikings played well and it could have gone either way.  My hat is tipped to both.
I was rooting for the Vikings, but I am not dissipointed in the Vikings playing. 


  1. Oh,, dear. You do not need to feel like scum for being honest. It would have been far worse to give him a false hope that there was a chance when there was not. The chemistry, which is what I gather you are talking about, is either there or it is not.

    I hope the next two meetings are closer to what you are looking for.

  2. secret agent woman-- I know you are right. And yes, the chemistry was not there. I hate to hurt people, so I feel bad, but I know it was the right thing. Thank you.

  3. What did you do with your weekend?

    Messed around doing nothing special.

  4. Billy B.-- I like weekends like that too. Sometimes its just nice to kick around with whatever comes up and not worry about anything.

  5. Well, being retired, I don't actually have weekends.

  6. This afternoon I just messed around in the camper enjoying a wood fire and, well, messing around.

  7. Well, I do remember being a teenager and being hurt that no one was calling or that a certain guy didn't call back after a date or whatever. I suppose that everyone would like to be out having fun, and that no one is really wants to hear that their feelings aren't returned.

    But as a grown woman I think the sooner things are ended after they aren't going to work out is the best. If the guy is taking you to dinner and buying you movie tickets and such, and you don't think it is working out, you shouldn't keep going out with him, and he can stop spending his time and his money. And I would think that if you already know, that breaking it off after the first date, or ending it after the first week of hanging out, would be the best thing possible. I'm not saying that the other person might not want to break it off and that the other person might feel chemistry or sparks or whatever that you don't, but isn't it best to stop wasting your time as soon as you know that the other person doesn't feel the same way? Wouldn't it hurt so much worse on the second or third date, or the second week or hanging out, when you've become even more attached to this other person who doesn't see a future with you?

    I just think that I would rather know sooner than later so that I could spend my time and energy elsewhere. No one is getting any younger. Don't waste time on something that is never going to be. Get over it and see who else is out there.

  8. Hmm, 30 minutes early is a BIT early don't you think?!

  9. Honesty is always best. Dragging things out only makes it more difficult.

    We are all imperfect. That is the way of it. I would bet, though, that you are a fantastic, glorious, pie in the sky catch for some man who, in all his imperfection, will be the same for you.

    That is also the way of it.

  10. Nothing to add on the meat of it other than what Secret and Laughing said.

  11. yes, waiting for the right good one is good and saying no to the wrong good ones is difficult.
    I was glad the Saints won...

  12. Mo--I thought it was. As for the one who was an hour and a half early... it was raining hard and he was concerned about being held up if there was an accident. I can see that sort of. But if it had been me I would have quietly sat in my car until it was the agreed time.

  13. Cricket-- Thank you! I hope you are right.

  14. dmarks-- Hi! Glad you stopped in.

  15. Pam-- The Saints certainly earned it. ;-)

  16. how many frogs does it take to change a light bulb?

  17. billy pilgrim-- Just one frog... and 12 light bulbs. (They have slippery hands.)

  18. Yay! My math problem is solved. M will get here by the time I'm off work today. No collision! Phew.

    Wait... What if he hangs out a couple of days?

  19. Having been rejected in the last few months, I'd much rather have someone tell it to me straight, instead of leading me on. My feelings might be hurt initially, but it's so much easier to get over when I don't feel that I invested my emotions for too long. I think you did the right thing.

  20. Peggy-- Will do.

    Churlita-- Maybe after tonight's date I'll be the one rejected. You never know. I will walk into it with the right attitude. I am getting better at relaxing and having fun with it.

  21. In my book, honesty is the best policy. I think you did the right thing.

  22. BTW I'm sick to death that the Vikings lost the way they did. It was awful.

  23. Anyone reading my blog knows I have been sort of surprised a time or two after what I thought was a good date. But it truly is so much better that way. If someone isn't feeling it, well, let it go and move on.
    You are being a wise Frog Master here :-)

  24. ananda - I am so proud of you for being honest! Way to go!!!! It's your life and there is absolutely no need to bend yourself to keep someone else happy! You doin' good, girl!

    I made a baby blanket, went shopping at WalMart for plastic containers for dog food so the cat won't eat it, and watched football and cooked chili on sunday. Thanks for asking!!!!