Wow. What a perfect song for this post. Funny how I got it too. This morning when I was considering what I wanted to do with today's post, I went brain dead. So I emailed DH and said... don't think... just tell me the first song that pops into your head. This was it.
Its funny because I did not know what I was going to write about yet. I was going to use whatever song he gave me as a prompt. Nor did I look at his email until I knew what I was going to write about. It turned out to be so perfect!
I love it when stuff like that happens.
I know I get wordy and I will try to keep it brief. But I am what I am.
Date one was with a very nice man. When he arrived... half an hour early, I was just stepping out of the shower. Max taps on the door and tells me there's an oopaloompa at the door. Max was wrong,he wasn't blue.
We went to see Extraordinary Measures with Harrison Ford and Brandon Frasier. It was a good movie... made me cry of course. Pizza. Nice drive after. Bear texted me during the movie to see if I was hacked up and neatly packed in glad bags yet. I made it home in one piece.
Today's date (Sunday) arrived an hour and a half early. I am seeing a trend here. I am an exactly on time person. X's family can't tell time and are up to two hours late. Used to drive me bonkers. This one I told to hold tight, I was no where near ready.
We met for lunch. The conversation was good. He was nice,a bit older than me, but not too much. We talked in the restaurant for a long time. Then I took him on a tour of the town... which took about 20 minutes because I drove slowly. Then we sat next to his car and talked a lot longer. Sigh. Sweet man. Owns a lot of property, nice cars and three homes. But I am not looking for sugar toppings.
The problem with dating is me, I think. I know in my head what I want. I know when I see someone and talk to them for a bit if it will work for me. I have settled in the past. I am too old to settle now. I know that I am no fantastic glorious pie in the sky catch. I'm also not looking for a perfect person. I still want the right one. Better alone than sorry... and I know me.
And so, as the song says... I know what price I am willing or not willing to pay. Unfortunately, the price this weekend was telling two very nice men that I was not interested. I hate that part. I feel guilty that they have spent money, time and effort on me. But I owe them the truth.
On the flip side, I expect to be told in person at the time if its not going to work for them too. I enter this with no expectations, other than to see what there is to see. I prefer honesty. I am not offended by it. I do not give my heart away easily anymore. I learned that lesson a long, long time ago... and tried for too many years to make the best of a unwise situation.
The first one listened to me, then said "Well can we at least go out some more? Maybe you'll change your mind." I had to say no. But he took it fairly well. I slept okay.
The second one did not. He looked offended, sounded offended and left in a huff. I feel like scum! Crap. But there's the price. I cannot please anyone until I can please myself on this issue. That may be cold, I don't know. I tell myself that it would only become harder to do and more awful if they are allowed time to get invested. I am not pulting either of them. It just didn't work out... time for them to find a new pond. So it goes. Two less frogs.
There you have it. I'm still motoring. Meanwhile... train two has left the station. It sounds like he may land stop here by mid-week. I'm really looking forward to this meeting. One way or another it will end well... we are already friends anyway if nothing more happens and that is fine with me.
Like I said, it has to be right on both ends.
The only thing that can really go wrong is if the two trains collide and arrive at the same time. Cross your fingers. I'm not even going to think about what happens beyond that. There is no point until you know.
What did you do with your weekend?
(BTW... this is Monday's post.)
Thanks to some wise words from DH... I will be alright tonight. Big grins!
Live Wishes Bootleg, Los Angeles 1986. From the 7 Wishes Tour.