Saturday, October 17, 2009

Jackson Browne - The Pretender ((STEREO))

This is such a wonderful song... sweet... sad... hopeful. The combination that makes no sense but is what life brings. My favorite song of his is Rock Me on the Water. But I can't find a decent video. This seems appropriate.

This was a boring night. Brought StbX over for diner as usual and so that he can do his laundry. I made the guys pork ribs, potatoes and brussel sprouts. I had a piece of salmon.

(Can't wait to get rid of StbX. I am ready to crash and burn.)

Same old, same old for me. I'm back on my kick. I've been here on this kick for a long time. What a year and a half now? But it was time to re-vamp it. Give it a good jump again. So I've cut way back on food and increased my exercise level. Tomorrow I'm putting my MP3 player on and hitting the trail to Eagle Creek. That's about 3.5 miles each way. If it's not raining that is.

My big boss showed up today. She only comes in once a month. I should know when, but I don't pay attention. The nice part about it was that she looked at me and told me that I looked great, then asked if I felt as great as I looked. Well the compliment felt nice!

I'm watching freecycle for some sort of exercise equipment. I think I want an elliptical machine. The weather is going to turn nasty soon. I may not be able to get to the gym for my walks on some days. Plus I need to add in something else. Something I can do when I am bored spitless at home that is good for me.

I think I need social lessons. No, I
know I need social lessons!

My Sookie Toots had a birthday... we will celebrate with her this weekend and that of course will be a highlight for me. She is now 8. I'll take photos of the birthday girl. ;-)

Okay, so I have been "talking" to this new guy and I am lost. Here's what's so hard about this emailing thing... you cannot see the other person's face. How do you know when you have stepped in it when you can't see their face? It's very difficult. Please... do not suggest that I be myself. I think I'm frightening! Maybe I should be someone else when I write. Yikes.

There is a real problem for me... keeping grounded. I don't know what happens in my brain... but I say things and then later think... oh my, how did that sound? Then I want to send another email to explain it. But that never helps. This is really hard. Why is it so hard?

He seems like an interesting man. Has a very interesting job. Likes bikes and works on them. The motorcycle kind of bike. He seems to collect them. He lives much closer than Larry. But I don't know if we will ever meet or not. Who knows?

It's like limbo.

Enough chit chat... because this is all so much drivel. Here's a Linda Ronstadt song that I really like. I loved this album in the way back when.

Have a great weekend... whatever you choose to do.


  1. I think we are very similar in lots of ways, Ananda. I, too, get tired of being involved with my ex's business. It is hard when you have kids together though, even when they are nearly grown..

    As for social awkwardness, I doubt you have anything on me! I am terrible at reading signs. I sort of believe what I want to believe. And I say really, really dumb things. YOU are charming :-)

    I hope you have a good weekend after all. Treat yourself well.

  2. I haven't been on a date in 29 years. Any social keenness I had, I have forgotten.

    You sound perfectly nice, friendly, and open on your blog. I can't believe your emails are as bad as you make them seem, especially given how well you write. Perhaps you're being too hard on yourself because you're feeling down? If so, give yourself a break.

    OK, I'll stop being preachy now.

    Remember my quiet Saturday? Well, it turned into a hectic morning with the plumber fixing the super-clogged sink. Not even the handy Mr. Cube could fix it last night. So we had the plumber her at 8 AM. Never fun. The rest of the day promises to be a little quieter.


    It's always something.

  3. speaking of ms ronstadt, she does a excellent version of rock me on the water too.

    Linda Rondstadt

    what happened to larry? did i miss something.

  4. I take it Larry doesn'tread your blog? Or is he out of the pictue?

    Emails are easily mis-interpretable, but I think probably it's not as bad as you might imagine. I find it hard when it's a person I haven't met yet, and can't put a face to it. Once I have, then it's much easier.

  5. laura b.-- Thank you for the kind words... you and Cube, both! But honestly you would not believe what pops out of my mouth some days! I scare myself.

    My day... yikes again! I am so lost at the moment that its insane.

    But I got a nice email from a friend who made a good suggestion that I'm going to take... put my all into it and see if I cannot do something good for myself as you suggest too.

  6. Cube-- Thank you, the support is much appreciated.

    A clog! Oh no... I've gotten very good with a snake over the years. I can't afford plumbers... they charge so much money! Poor you... the mess and the bill.

    I had a very dear friend who once solved a huge plumbing problem for me but he died very quickly and painfully over a short few months. Lorn is his nephew... part of my attachment to my used son. Okay... that's depressing!

    I sure hope your day gets better. Thanks for the nice words.

  7. billy pilgrim-- Thank you for the wonderful video! Music is so important to me. It has a nice healing and comforting quality. I have loved Linda's voice since she was in The Stone Ponies... near forever. It was this version, in fact, that I first heard of Rock Me on the Water. I fell in love with Jackson Browne's afterward... 'twas Linda who led me to him.

    Yes, you missed something. Larry is not in my life anymore. Damn it. He is very much missed.

  8. secret agent woman-- No more Larry. I'm lonely and feeling sorry for myself a good deal of the time. One of those deals where I keep seeing a truck like his... pass a motel where... you get my drift. I can't seem to shake it yet. How did I get so invested in such a short amount of time?

    But I am trying to get my life back on track. It is not easy... as you know.

    New guy and I have exchanged photos. He didn't run away screaming. But you know... it's still very much a who are you thing, not a relationship.

    Larry used to read my blog. I told him I was okay with his continuing to read it if he wanted. Comment or not. No matter. No one will ever hear any negative comment about Larry here from me and I won't put up with any either.
    He's a good man, who treated me very well.

  9. Jeez... I haven't been here in a while.. sorry. I havta listen to all the music. And glad you are writing a Nu-B. I used to be that way - obessing over what I wrote, etc. Not sure how I got out of it, sorry. Especially in the beginning it's tough. Good luck!!!

  10. Pamela-- It's getting better every day. I guess the more you learn about someone the more you have something not too doofus to say. I am a fast learner... and catalog every possible reference for future use. It is my one true gift... the file cabinet in my head. Of course it's full of mostly crap, but hey... some shit is really useful. ha.

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