Ah… head lice season is upon us again! In the halls brave volunteer mothers line students up and pick like chimps through their hair. I have yet to see one stick a lout in her mouth to crack it. I am relieved by this. But I must admit that I spend most of my day scratching my head after passing one of the lice lines. An imaginary lout keeps me running to the mirror to check it out. Sheesh.
The piggy flu has us all amok with cleaning products and sanitation. I have previously confessed that I am a germaphobe. You know how every once in awhile you might find something in the fridge at the back of a shelf that can no longer be named? I throw those away… in a zip lock baggie. Bio-hazard. Go ahead and laugh. I know that it is weird.
In my library there are six available boxes of tissues for students to use. Two bottles of hand sanitizer… one for them and one for my personal use… and please do not touch my clean sanitizer bottle with your germy hands! I have Clorox wipes to do the door knobs, counters, tables, chair backs, keyboards, etc.
I am repulsed by the health department’s suggestion that everyone should sneeze into their inner elbow bend… hence the six available boxes of tissues around my room. Have they never watched children play? Where do you grab a kid when you want him to slow down or to get them to go with you… by their inner elbow bend! One hand goes directly onto the place where the health department tells kids to stash their germs. AAAGggggggg.
How about a little Mother Goose for you?
Sneeze on Monday, sneeze for danger;
Sneeze on Tuesday, kiss a stranger;
Sneeze on Wednesday, get a letter;
Sneeze on Thursday, something better;
Sneeze on Friday, sneeze for sorrow;
Sneeze on Saturday, joy tomorrow!
Okay… so what does a sneeze mean on Sunday?
Here is my favorite Mother Goose rhyme. (If you read it right it can sound quite lewd.)
Baby and I were baked in a pie
The gravy was wonderful hot!
We had nothing to pay to the baker that day…
So we crept right out of that pot!
Happy Wednesday all!
Try to avoid this guy!
A cootie post is inevitable around this time of year. Cooties are ubiquitous. I took enough micriobiology in college to know that you can't avoid them. The best you can do is fight them back a little bit.
ReplyDeleteBTW is that tissue box supposed to be a likeness of Enterprise's Captain Archer ;-)
ReplyDeleteI don't see Captain Archer, but isn't that last picture one of the bad guys from Firefly?
ReplyDeleteCube-- I think the tissue box was supposed to be an Easter Island guy... but I see what you mean. hee hee
ReplyDeleteIts that power of suggestion thing again. :-)
laughing-- It could very well be! BTW I love Firefly. I'm going to have to hulu it. I missed so much before I found it.
ReplyDeleteI had lice once as a kid. Luckily, my girls have never had that honor.
ReplyDeleteI'm so not a germaphobe. I don't know why, but I just don't worry about it all that much. I suppose I should.
Even though I always had too much hair for my own good, I never had lice. The thought of it makes me itchy, though.
ReplyDeleteChurlita-- I never had them as a kid. But my poor Bear had them once. My niece had them a bazillion times. Ick! She had such thick and fine hair. They were near impossible to remove and her mom was lazy about it.
ReplyDeleteBe glad that you are not a germaphobe. It is not fun.
AlienCG-- It is just the suggestion of it that drives me insane!
ReplyDeleteMy two oldest kids had them when they were small...kindergarten and preschool age. Such fun. But not the worst thing in the world either.
ReplyDeleteI should probably care more about germs but I just don't have it in me. *sigh*
laughingattheslut: There is a movement that bases it's whole existense on the fact that Captain Archer IS modeled over one of those Easter Island statues. I'm just informing you.
ReplyDeletelaura b.-- Max used to love to have his head checked. He'd just stand there and smile as the mom picked through his hair. I guess I can understand that... I love to have my hair washed by someone else. But if I recall right, the Bear hated to have her hair picked through and there was a great deal of squirming involved.
ReplyDeleteCube-- That is too funny!
ReplyDeleteLice is a problem? I don't recall ever knowing anyone with lice. Recall my sister getting crabs once though and having to shave her.......
ReplyDeleteI love germs, they are all around me and my body learns to fight them off. What doesn't kill you makes you stronger.
Bring those little buggers on. A neat nick I can't be, that shit could get me dead.
BBC-- Head lice have always been a common problem in schools. I'm just glad that we don't have a scabies issue here. Some schools have to deal with that too. Yikes.
ReplyDeleteGerms are good for you sometimes. You know I'm no neat nick myself, but I do have that whole mold, mildew and sick people issue that bothers me a lot.
Oh god, the whole lice thing would freak me out... ugh.
ReplyDeleteDr. Jack from LOST. Now, there's the guy who looks like he wandered off Easter Island.
ReplyDeleteScabies, that I can sort of relate to, only I know that in my case my so called scabies is related to the stress of putting up with the shit on this planet.
ReplyDeleteKids these days also are under a lot of stress, I think that this scabies thing is often misdiagnosed. It's just frigging stress, take them camping and it will go away in a few days.
Or load them up with beer, I mean pot or prozac, I mean, oh hell, never mind.
Teacher to student, "You have Scabies."
ReplyDeleteStudent to teacher, "So do you."
What shall we do? Hell, I don't know, lets go get a bloody mary. BTW, I did get one in PT the other day, the first in over 20 years, it was okay, better than no breakfast at all. :-)
NoRegrets-- It is more than a bit uncomfortable when I know which kid has them... and they want to hug me the next day. YIKES.
ReplyDeletedmarks-- You are right! I never thought about it before, but he does have that face. Hahahaha
ReplyDeleteBBC-- I would not be able to stand the idea of scabies on me. Or crabs for that matter. I would need many, many bloody marys to get over that!
ReplyDeleteMaybe in some cases a bloody mary would be put to best use externally? I don't know, I just like to ponder on such things.
ReplyDeleteI know that washing hair with beer is good for it, not that I feel like wasting my beer that way being as my hair is pretty much a lost cause anyway.
I have been told that the cold weather has nothing to do with the increase in colds and flu and other illnesses, and that we just have more of that going around because we stay indoors more in the winter, and therefore there are more germs indoors with us during the winter, and therefore more of us get sick during the winter.
ReplyDeleteThat can't be it, or at least, that can't be all of it. I am your basic couch potato. The two of us tend to stay indoors year round, not just in the winter. There aren't more people in the house in the winter, or more time spent in the house during winter, or more people indoors any place else that we would go either. There isn't anything in my life that is more in the winter, except the cold temperature.
I shall have to go out soon and buy extra tissue paper, cough drops, garlic pills, Nyquil, etc.... It isn't particularly cold yet, but it is better to already have the stuff in the house than to wait and have to go out and get it after one of us has gotten sick.
I don't remember anything about lice being a big deal, but then I was in a small school after third grade, and maybe I just don't remember what happened at school much before then. Maybe they did check us for lice. I do remember being warned not to share brushes and combs with other people.
And be ready to buy the hot-and-sour soup. Or make some.
ReplyDeleteDo you think you will get the swine flu vaccination? I probably will...
ReplyDelete