Yesterday, laura b. over at What Fresh Hell is This? said of dating after being out of the game for a long time...."Just go out expecting nothing but that would be my advice...oh wait...you didn't ask for that, did you? haha! Sorry :-)"
Well my brain is so fried today, it occurred to me that what I need is exactly that... advice... a.k.a. "pearls of wisdom".
I am so rusty that I am sure that I could use a whole string of those pearls... heck a necklace of them! So if you've got any crustacean irratants of wisdom... drop them here please!If you have no wisdom at all on the subject, then have you got any dating horror stories you'd like to share?
Hope you all have a wonderful day!
i've got no advice. only horror stories. the guy i dated before i met my husband decided i needed to learn to play golf. i assured him it would be a bad idea to try teaching me. any time you put an object in my hand and tell me i have to use it to send some other object sailing it turns out badly. making the handle longer and the head smaller and the ball tiny only makes it worse. he insisted. i finally relented. he was literally screaming at me by the third hole. i looked at him said his screaming wasn't going to help me learn, told him he was a lunatic and walked off the course.
ReplyDeleteHold on, let me open up the book of advice cliches...
ReplyDelete"be yourself"
"picture everybody naked"
"expect the unexpected"
"don't get your hopes up"
You know what, forget that crappy advice. Go into this as if you're meeting a good friend for lunch, there is no pretense. Of course, what do I know? I haven't been on a date in years.
You don't want dating advice from me either. I haven't been on a date since 1980! How's that for rusty.
ReplyDeletelime-- Well I guess he did you a favor by giving you a preview of what life would be like with someone like that. How awful for you! I'd have probably clubbed him. Sheesh!
ReplyDeleteAlienCG-- Thanks! hahaha I think the no pretense is perfect advice.
ReplyDeleteCube-- I've got your rust beat by a decade. My biggest fear is that one of us will look like Joe E. Brown! And worse... it might be me!
ReplyDeleteHey Joe E Brown seemed like a nice pervert - oh I mean person!
ReplyDeleteMy advice is not any different that the advice you find above.
Oh I have a piece from my dating experiences (back in the 70's - double sheesh!) - do not - I mean DO NOT!!!!! have sex on the first date!
Love ya!
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ReplyDeleteI already gave my advice, before being asked.
ReplyDeleteWhat I always remind myself of is to keep an open mind...but I am pretty sure you already do that :-)
crazy4coens-- Did you just call me a perv????
ReplyDeleteThat's funny in the seventies I thought that sex was the first date. giggle
I should know better than that now. ;) Thanks.
laura b.-- Sometimes my mind is way tooo open. My spider senses aren't tingling yet. Until they do I will have an open mind. I do trust my spider senses. The sub-conscience mind sees way more than my unobservant "alert" mind.
ReplyDeleteMy current husband was delivered to my doorstep.
ReplyDeleteI forget how I found male companionship before that, and I'm pretty sure the doorstep thing isn't going to happen again.
Nope, no advice.
Oh, wait. An uncle says that he doesn't much read the long detailed stuff on the dating websites, he just looks for someone cute in his general age group.
At least he is looking in his general age group instead of the under thirty group.
i did not call you a perv -i called joe e brown a perv. you don't look a bit like him!
ReplyDeletelaughing-- I love the idea of having a man delivered! Who do you call to arrange that? That's so funny.
ReplyDeleteYes, your uncle is wise.
crazy4coens-- You're right. I don't look like Joe E Brown at all... thank goodness and light!
ReplyDeleteBTW my family have now turned into evil beings threatening to follow me on my date to embarrass and annoy me. It's like having 8 demented little brothers!
Darn that lurking Bear!
"...my current husband..."
ReplyDeleteI knew some guy who always introduced his spouse as "his first wife".
Sorry, can't help you.
ReplyDeleteMy wife doesn't let me date.
Kick back Kim Novack and enjoy yourself. If you giggle, then just keep giggling at yourself. Pretty soon you'll be having such a good time the guy will want to join in on your party. Either a sure sign you're both silly and therefore compatible or a sure sign you're both just having fun. That's the point, right?
ReplyDeleteOMG my whole blog is back-logged with What not to do "pearls of wisdom" sista! LOL The best I can say, is if HE is someone that you like JUST the way he is...or can live with the "flaws" he has...move on.
ReplyDelete~shrugs~
Thats all I have...
Yes... I have lurked again. Just go have fun dont worry about us turds we will get over it. As you know I never really ever dated any one so I have no ideas, except dont get drunk and fall asleep in some ones front yard and wearing some elses clothing, its no fun.
ReplyDeleteI forgot to add that Mikey is very upset, how could this happen to his parents, a divorce and now you are dating? He is just so wah wah over this, silly man. I think he needs a hug.
ReplyDeletedmarks-- You know I never in a million years thought that i would ever utter the words"my ex". Life is strange, it is.
ReplyDeleteI do like that phrase.
Michael-- Well it's been clear to me for awhile now that your wife is a very smart woman. Better keep listening to her advice.
ReplyDeletePeggy-- Yes it is the point and I intend to take full advantage of it.
ReplyDeleteIn fact, we kicked it up another notch to tomorrow night and next weekend too.
Let the fun begin.
Superstar-- I rather like that positive advice. Thanks.
ReplyDeletethebear-- Went to the bar last night with your brothers. They are a horrible influence and let me go home with a lovely young man... of course Max came along too. I behaved myself. But there was drama and police when we arrived.
ReplyDeleteIn other words just another night in Dumb Potter's Hell. John looks great. We have decided on 3 weeks in Germany in April or May... 2 weeks touring Europe and one I lost that information at the bottom of a Barefoot Brown. Guess I'll find out in Germany.
thebea-- Poor Michael! He waited all those years for parents who love him and care and now his new mom has gone on the romp! Adoption and divorce in the span of 3 years is too much for him.
ReplyDeleteI will give him big hugs. Forever and ever. Just keep telling him your dad and I both like it this way. And we will never stop loving him. We are not divorcing Michael, just each other. Yay!
Actually, no....no dating hell stories. Sorry Ananda :)
ReplyDeleteMy only advice is to listen to yourself as to how you feel about him. Don't run over yourself or let him run over you.
ReplyDeleteAhem. Most of my blog of late has been one big dating horror story.
ReplyDelete