DRIVING ME MAD

I've been taking Squeaky out to learn how to drive. Squeaky is a perfectionist, so he has had some excitement in this endeavor. Cars don't do what you want them to at first. That takes a bit of skill. We actually began this some time back in the Aspire. It has a clutch, which proved to frustrate and flabbergast Squeaky. Stop signs in particular were upsetting to Squeaky.

We drive in our "industrial park" (derisive snort of laughter) that the town council worked so hard to push through with the "if you build it, they will come" dream. No one came. So it has a lovely street that goes a couple of blocks into a cul de sac. At the end is the stop sign that gave Squeaky fits. There we can turn left for a short block, turn left again and wind down a little road to the tug dock at the river, do a turn around and follow it back. Nice circuit. The strange hill that you see pictured is right there where we turn around. I love the bleakness of it.

He's doing an excellent job. He always does an excellent job because he is so careful to do things as well as he can. He just doesn't believe that he does. That is my big challenge with him. Yesterday I knew that we were getting "there" when a semi showed up right after a narrow turn and he managed to glide past and make the next right. I congratulated him on his calm. He says "That wasn't calm... that was total panic... but I figured it was okay when we didn't die."

Yep.

Today I am going to let him drive home on the actual road. It is about a quarter of a mile distance. He is stressing over the speed limit... 35 MPH.

This will be the first child I've taught to drive that is not in a hurry to be a speed demon. It's quite refreshing. I feel pretty good about letting him use the car. The Bear drove from the time she was 14. I told Squeaky that if he only used it to get his dad or go the market, that while I was at the beach he could use the car and his dad could help him with his driving too.

He looks at me and says "Mom... that's against the law." Okay... so I guess I don't have to worry about him joy riding while I'm away. Cool beans.

Otherwise in my world... its the same old thing. Work is going well. StbX is making weird noises about being under appreciated. Its not about me. It's about his not having anyone or any fun. It's up to him to create his own life. But it takes positive action. I've always done everything for him... phone calls, arrangements, etc. His mom did that before me. Hey... he's 55 years old. He can run his life... be his own activity director.

It's not my job and I am not going to feel guilty.

Speaking of which... still making those plans for the beach and finding out stuff about each other with the deer hunter. The more I learn about him the more fun it is finding stuff in common. Friday cannot come fast enough. I just want to get to the place where I know if I am going to be comfortable or not. Get past the weird zone of the first meeting. Did the same horrible gleaning of information on the poor man for my daughter to hold. "In case I vanish... they want to know where to start looking for me." I joked with him. "But you are going to vanish... for the weekend." Good point.

Still talking to D too. A frog named A showed up from before I began to date Larry... and that was strange. Said he'd been busy. For four or five months? Yeah, I guess so! I'm sure it is obvious to you that I've pretty much made my choice. But you know, the frog has to choose back and all that. So while I want to clear the pond totally, it seems prudent that I keep the frogs at least until I see if the deer hunter takes one look at me and runs screaming into the woods.

And so the frog pond remains as it is for at least another few weeks depending on how it all goes. I find that I do not really like having a pond of frogs. It takes a lot of effort and I live in perpetual fear that I will send one frog another frog's email and insult one by calling him the other's name. I am not a good frog juggler. I have been honest about the fact that there are other frogs... but it still feels slightly dishonest. Probably because I do like the one much more than the others.

Have a wonderful Tuesday. What is happening in your life?