Monday, November 30, 2009

Flogging Molly - Black Friday Rule (c)

Hi everybody! What a bizarro holiday break this was.
You all know about the divorce being final and legal.

Thanksgiving was fun for me. I made the bird and all that goes with it. X ( formerly StbX) and all three of my boys were here. I spent most of mine in my room talking to the deer hunter between our separate family events.

Friday was the day I got my divorce pushed through. It was nerve-wracking at best. When I went to pay the cashier, there were extra fees... of course! So I dumped my purse out on the counter and between all my folding money and all the nickles, dimes and quarters just covered it by the fuzz in the bottom of my purse. Phew!

Then I raced home to yak at the deer hunter some more... until it was time to go to meet Frog D. Heavy sigh. What can I say... pult...zing... splat! It did not take me five minutes to determine that this would never work out. But I stayed and gave it a fair shot. He did bring me roses... that does not happen often in my life. Our ideas and politics are on opposite ends of the universe. My mind did not change an iota. One less frog in the pond. I did thank him for the nice diner and flowers. I felt a bit bad, but it just was not there.

On Saturday I was talking to the deer hunter about gut feelings. (Yes, these guys know about each other. ) Since I wasn't going to be busy, I was invited over to celebrate the divorce. He was a big help to me on legal issues involved. Promised to fill my gas tank if I could get there. Deal!

So off I went.
Had a great time I might add... I met his daughter and best friend. Nice people. Drove home pretty darned happy thinking about all the things I need to do to get my name changed everywhere. Feels good to be free.

Once home I did laundry. Remembered that I had forgotten to eat again... you have no idea how much that pleases me. So I ate a turkey sandwich. I had 127 emails. I deleted most and answered the rest. Here I sit now. I am tired from the drive, which was well worth it. I am happy. I wonder what my work week will be like. I'm looking at a short week. Big grin! At the end of it... I'll be back down south for the big game.

Life's looking fine.

Between now and then... who knows. The frogs have increased by two more. Not sure what to do about this... but they thin and then thicken... and thin again. Its interesting.


  1. Tell you what, though I understand what you're doing and am pleased you are "pretty darned happy", changing my name everywhere would not make me "pretty darned happy", I cause a fuss if I have to fill in just one form!

  2. I have a cousin who found out that after less than a year of marriage, her husband was cheating on her. So she got a divorce and went through all the stuff to get her name changed back. But, she had been Mrs. Creep for less than a year. And the forms that she had to fill out got the attention of an ex-boyfriend, and they got back together, and by the time she officially had her old name back she was engaged again. That marriage has now lasted over twenty-five years.

    But I don't know that I would bother with the name change in your case. You have had the X's name longer than you had the name you were born with. Most people know you by that name, and it will be a big hassle to get everything changed. And then after you get it changed, you will have a different name than your children.

    I don't have children, but if I ever get a divorce I will probably not bother with getting my name changed back. It has just been too long. It would be a hassle. And it would cost money. And so far as I know, there are no ex-boyfriends out there looking for me who would be looking through name-change forms.

    I figure that I would probably get married again, and I would have a new last name soon enough.

  3. Sounds like you had a pretty good Thanksgiving weekend. Except for the purse-fuzz.

  4. Mo--- I hear what you are saying and let me tell you... you do not ever want to get divorced! There are so many forms and more forms to amend those forms... that your head would spin like Linda Blaire's in the Exorsist.
    This part is a piece of cake!

  5. laughing-- I know, sounds like a lot of hassle, but I do not expect to remarry anytime soon.

    For me, changing my name is a way to divorce myself not just from him... he's been pretty good about it really... but from his family that I do not wish to be associated with at all EVER.

    Besides, this is Dumb Potter's Hell. I got to the market after leaving the court house... when I walked in T, the cashier says... "Hey heard you got your divorce!" I had not even yet told X and the town was pushing the information. So I told T to spread the word about my name. They know now. Believe me... they know.

  6. dmarks-- Yes... I had a great weekend full of rollercoaster funs! Highs were at the take your breath away very top and the lows were just sudden dips. All in all, it was a terrific ride.

  7. Those frogs just keep coming. I think you may have your cap set for one in particular though. I know it is too soon, but I'm just guessing....

    I'm glad you had such a good, long weekend :-)

  8. you seem to have the magic touch with frogs. maybe you could set up a business selling your formula for attracting frogs.

    i saw a few nice frogettes today but i lacked the frogette attracting formula.

    so it goes.

  9. laura b. Actually no... as much as I really do enjoy the deer hunter to the fullest... and he is my favorite male in my universe, he's not really a frog anymore.

    He is newly divorced since last April, and you know how new I am to freedom... We both date others. Neither of us believe we are going to commit to anyone anytime soon.

    However, he has become an important part of my life. A better friend I do not believe that I can find. We do things for each other and have each others best interest at heart, have each others back as they say. Both of us agree on that point very strongly. Right now it is probably the thing that I need most. I am more than happy with our arrangement. I have a sanctuary when I need one and a lot of fun too.

  10. billy pilgrim-- I don't know about that at all! Attracting frogs is easy... keeping them isn't.
    They are quite slippery things. And some as it turns out have an awful lot of warts.

    As for you not attracting frogettes... oh I seriously doubt that!

    So it does indeed go!

  11. I had my married name for nearly 20 years and still have a good relationship with my ex, but wouldn't have considered not changng my name. Totally worth the hassle.

    I also get it about it not being there with one of your frogs in spite of his niceness. I had one date with a guy who was very nice, had a lot in common and took me out for a lovely dinner. But I felt no spark, and when he asked me out again I could only say no, thank you.

  12. I can't even attract tadpoles. Good thing I'm married. If I got divorced, I would dump this last name pronto and fly away. Nothing against him, just a goofy name.

  13. secret agent woman-- Yes ma'am! Worth the effort and then some. ha

    You are totally on the mark... no hint of a spark.
    Complete flat line. Very nice man. Nice is great but the attraction has to be there or why waste his time or mine. Would not have been fair.

  14. Peggy-- Hahahaha... but I love your name! You remember my maiden name... not near as much fun as yours and it changes how its pronounced as you move across the U.S. There are polish and german versions... all my silly relatives. We can't even keep our own name straight.

    Yep... I am thinking of flight at this point. Squeaky wants to live with the Bear, but he's not 18 for 5 more months. I will likely let fate decide it for me. But that thought keeps perking away. I have a female friend who wants me to live with her in a real city!

    I am a bit of a magpie... shiny and glittery things attract me. Like lights, people, museums. And no one who knows who the frick I am or where I have been. Except for her of course.

  15. I always wanted to spend Thanksgiving with my ex. Did he chip in on the goodies?

    A friendly reminder, the frogs in other ponds are no different than the ones in your pond. They may seem so at first, but they're really not, may as well save the wear and tear on the car even if they will pay for the gas.

    Hey, that gives me a great idea, will you come and visit me if I pay for your gas? I'm too fucking lazy to drive to your pond again, ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha

  16. I can sure attract she frogs, but I soon discount them or piss them off, ha ha ha ha ha

  17. BBC-- Yes. He bought the goodies... all of them.

    I like that man. He's fun. The whole point is that he lives where I don't. I go there and have fun and find peace and get to be a total stranger to everyone I see besides him and his family. Its a mini vacation.

    Yes I would... why are you laughing? Gas is not cheap. The snow will come soon and ground me for a time. Then the black ice and I am a big chicken.

  18. BBC-- Yes. He bought the goodies... all of them.

    I like that man. He's fun. The whole point is that he lives where I don't.

    Right, he lives where you don't. Doesn't it ever occur to you to tell them to come to your pond and let them wear their rigs out?

    But if you are that ashamed of your pond - move.

  19. Look lady, we have met, it's not BBC, it's Billy, or Billy B if you don't want others to be confused in a comment. :-)

  20. BBC, Billy B-- That is my sanctuary where I get what I need. And he does come here and he takes me elsewhere as well. He has no problem with my digs... has been trailer trash himself in the past.

    I am considering moving. Pay attention! :-)

    I am in a good mood... go ahead and fuck with me Billy. I am forged in the fire... and ready to fight. All good natured of course.

  21. BBC-- Billy, I'm not sure that others understand our bickering. I do. I have fun fighting with you.

  22. Lady, I'm not fucking with you, just trying to share some hard learned wisdom with you is all. And I'm not trying to fight with you.

    And being as you know me I'm sure that you know that I don't give a fuck what others understand or think. :-)

  23. BBC-- Billy B... yes, I got that part. You don't think that we bicker? I do. But I enjoy it. I am feeling feisty tonight. I did not mean to offend you. I hope you are not.

    I also do not care much what others think. I live my life my way. Advice is a wonderful thing... but I don't always agree and there is nothing wrong with that. Just a different opinion.

    More than anything right now I crave privacy. That is what is offered there. No privacy exists at all in Dumb Potter's Hell. The place I got to is private, calm and a positive place. I am supported, protected, encouraged and treated extremely well. A good place to heal. There you have it.

  24. Wow I missed a lot around here ;-)

  25. How wonderful for you...All of it. I'm so happy for you. I hope this frog turns into a prince and fast. It would be nice to get rid of all the other frogs.