Wednesday, November 11, 2009

Hocus Pocus Focus - Wallace and Gromit

Oodles of Funch is under construction.... Thanks to a list authored by Suldog... this song is once again etched in my mind. I'm passing on the ear-worm to you to enjoy with good old Wallace and Gromit. A meger offering to tide you over while Funch is finished. It may take me a bit... come back around 10:00.

Happy Veteran's Day!  Be sure to thank the ones you know and those you don't as well. 

I am a bit perplexed about this holiday though.  With the exception of the few vets that I know who are retired... all my veterans that I am  honoring today seem to be stuck at work!

No day off!   Excuse me... but what is up with that? 

Makes me feel a bit guilty... I've done no service at all for my country other than my time in public education and I'm the one with the day off?  

Just does not seem right does it?

I forgot that today was a holiday.  True.  I was at work yesterday doing my thing in the library and about half an hour before quitting time... my friend, Nate... who I only get to share one day of work with per week... asked me what I was going to do on my holiday.   This is what I love about Nate, (beside the fact that he sings silly camp songs from both Canada and the U.S.) he can openly laugh at me and not tick me off.  It was as if he had given me a day off with pay... a gift at the end of my long but happy day.  When we finished laughing at the cob webs in my head, I was left with no clue what to do with my day.

The one thing I thought that I could count on was the frog pond... frogs like to communicate and so I looked forward to croaking along with them.  Except the rest of the country seems to be working... or in the case of a new and interesting frog... the library he is using for internet is closed.  

Now does that not make you wonder?  Why does this man not have a computer?  How can you live without a computer?  I cannot live without a computer.  Certainly not.  More so curious is the idea that he is social networking on computer without a computer.  Boggles the mind it does. He's a retired government frog.  I have lower level G security clearance but his is much more impressively high than mine.

This is the frog that lives in Larry's little town.  It's a small enough town that running into Larry would be likely at some point.  Am I able to do that yet?  Well, yeah... but it will feel all squishy.  I'd turn red likely.  I hate that about me... that my body does strange betrayals that I seem unable to control.  On the bright side this frog is talking about moving closer to my area a bit into a larger town between.  Not to be near me, but because he's from the L.A. area and it's just too small there.  Gee... I understand that one.  

All the other frogs... especially the veterans... are working today.
Still bothers me, that.
So so much for the idea that I could hang around the pond all day and visit with the fellas.  Oh well.  But then last night when I was yakking with the deerslayer, I was reminded that I owe him homemade oatmeal raisinless cookies... and a steelhead diner.

There is part of my day then... making cookies and hunting down S-man for fresh steelhead... or recently frozen fresh steelhead in freezer baggies.  I'm sure I'll find him on the river somewhere... which will give me a good afternoon walk in the real world.  A promise is a promise.  Next Monday is my birthday.  So the deerhunter and I are going to celebrate ME on Saturday.  Yay!  

His son's girlfriend has the same name... he accidently called her and thought he was talking to me last weekend when he arrived in my town.  We are still laughing about that.

In fact, our meeting was not what either of us had planned.  Did I not tell you that something always goes wrong on a first date with me?  It seems to be a rule set in stone handed down by the universe.  My plan was to kick my kids out... did that... and have my home nice and quiet where we could talk and not have anyone staring at us.  First meetings are weird enough right?

I had gone to Google Maps and gotten him maps to follow right to my door.  But then I added as an I-do-not-know-what-my-brain-was-thinking thought... "Or you can stop at the Inn, which is right across the street from the Shell station and give me a call and we can have a beer in the lounge and then you can follow me home."
He opted for the latter of course.

So I am at home waiting and he calls, this time making sure it's the right "me"... says he is at the Inn.  As I am driving there I get that feeling of dread.  I know my family.  I have chased Squeaky and Lorn to the Bear's house.  Boo and Max were helping around the house earlier and of course StbX is unwelcome tonight at my house... these three had to have gone somewhere.  

To play pool at the Inn of course!  I walk in and not only are they occupying a table in full force... but they also have Roxanne, Poolman and Heather Blu.  Roxanne yells out my name and runs over to give me kisses and hugs and is talking very loudly about how nice I look and how great it is to see me... I have not seen her in about a year.

I have entered that curious slow motion place that my mind sends me to when I feel that I have lost control of a situation.  I am feeling the hugs and kisses, I can smell Roxanne's scent and part of my head wonders what it is 'cause she smells wonderful.  My family is laughing... they know the look on my face means that I'm in the Twilight Zone.  While Roxanne is clinging to me I am looking past her shoulder at the Deerslayer's eyes.  

I take both Roxanne's hands and sort of gently push her back, giving her hands a squeeze and say... "I'm so glad I got to see you... but someone is waiting for me hon...."  She's flipping me shit and I walked over and in a bright shade of red, sit myself down across from the Deerslayer and say hello.  I was greatly relieved that he laughed and said hello back, then offered to buy me a beer.
"That would really help." was my reply.
About this time Boo shows up... he's playing pool right next to deerslayer and my family is on the other side of the pool table from us.  Boo shoves his hand at my date and introduces himself, then bounces off to flirt shamelessly with the woman he's playing against.  The deerslayer returns with my beer and I say "I honestly did not know that they would be here."  I think I drank that beer in record time and then we got the heck out of there.
As we are leaving my family... god love 'em... and crew are all shouting good-night and hooting cat calls at me.
Ooohhh baby!  Talk about an introduction from hell... Dumb Potter's Hell style!

The only other frog news is that D may or may not be able to make it down around Thanksgiving.  I have some mixed feelings here.  Would I like to meet him?  Absolutely. How does that fit in with the fun I am having with deerslayer frog?  I honestly do not know.  I make it clear that I have other frogs that I talk to... so there is no secret to keep.  But it's feeling sort of scary and crazy.  Yikes.

Well, I've got cookies to make and S-man to hunt down.  I've filled in enough drivel for the day at Funch.  I hope that you are having a lovely holiday and enjoying those you care about... I am still holding a bit of a grudge against mine for making that first meeting with the deerslayer more difficult for him than it needed to be.  
Not to mention my own mortification.
Aaaahhhh... Family, what would I do without mine to torment me?

Tomorrow:  My Fifteen  


  1. That was fantastic! I had no idea that Focus worked so well with Wallace And Grommit (whom I also adore.) Thanks!

  2. Hmmm. I'm interested to see what you do with the place.

  3. Suldog-- I love Wallace and Gromit too. In fact, my first car was named Gromit... causing me to instantly adore Gromit the dog when he showed up many, many years later. Oh... and you are welcome!

  4. Cube-- I hope so. I took a long time to get it together.

  5. Churlita-- I wish I could re-vamp Funch. It needs some oomph! But I don't really know how. I should look into that. But I love the background... and really what else can I change?

  6. I just have dogs but I've heard that kids keep you humble. Nice story. I recall that red was a good color on you.

  7. Ahhh, the travails of living in a small town. One can't hide much.

  8. Don't worry so much about redecorating your blog. The main thing is content and you do just fine in that department.

  9. Peggy-- I'm about ready to trade my kids for dogs.
    I seem to be wearing red a great deal these days.

  10. Cube-- Thanks!

    I guess I have to just accept that there is no privacy here and get over it.

    You are very kind.

  11. Why does this man not have a computer?

    Hey, some of the happiest and most productive people I know do not own computers so don' knock it. They are just the next biggest time waster after TV's.

    Every monkey in this room is unhappy with their life in ways, including me, and wasting time on the internut blabbing about crap.

    Frog pond, Monkeyville, same difference. I suggest that in potential relationships that you just invite the male frogs to your pond straight off so they see what it's like in your pond.

    You know, so they don't get any surprises later. If they are okay with your pond then you can go from there. It's just a suggestion though.

  12. If you want privacy turn off your computer, ha ha ha.

  13. Oh, and I'm so sick and tired of wars that I refuse to honor veterans, of any county, it's just a bunch of fucking monkeys fighting each other.

    And brainwashing others into supporting them.

  14. BBC-- I did... deerslayer seemed happy enough and we are still talking so I guess my family and home didn't frighten him too much.

    Einseim on Peace sounds interesting.

    But I still have a lot of respect for our vets. I have a few ex-students in Afghanistan and Iraq these days and I worry for them.

  15. BBC-- I think you can let your computer time get out of hand like TV viewing... but I only watch TV when I have something worth watching to see. Not often.

    But I admit that I like my computer much more than the TV. At least it can be a creative outlet. I am sure there are those who are happy without it... and I don't mind that he doesn't have one. That's his business not mine. I'm just saying that I cannot live without one at this point. I don't use a land line for a phone... I use my computer instead. I would use it less if there was somewhere besides the bar for a social life here but there isn't. So the computer is my social life temporarily.

  16. First meetings...that one sounds rather sweet in it's own way :-)
    Maybe after your upcoming meeting with the Deerslayer, your feelings about the other frogs in the pond will feel a little clearer.

  17. laura b.-- It was a wonderful sort of roller coaster weekend. This one is supposed to be slow and sweet. As if anything goes as I plan it. ha

    I hope it clears my head up. But I doubt it.